Secret Meetings, Dancing Bulls, and the Bitcoin That Wouldn’t Sit Still!

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If Professor Woland ever needed an alibi, he would point at Bitcoin: “See, even my tricks aren’t that unpredictable!” For those with nerves of steel and perhaps a touch of insomnia, the Bitcoin price has crawled out of its coffers and shambled above the $95,000 zone once again. Will it attend the Spring Ball at $97,500, or will it trip elegantly on its own trend line? 🎩🪄

  • Bitcoin refuses to sink below the $94,500 abyss. It must have found something nice down there last time it fell.
  • The price floats above $95,000, glancing smugly at its 100 hourly Simple moving average. So simple, so average, so… necessary.
  • Somewhere on a chart, a mysterious bullish trend line has materialized at $96,350, supporting BTC like a cat’s paw on a priceless vase.
  • If our hero can leap above the $97,500 fence, it might just start dancing again (with or without Behemoth at the piano).

Midnight in the Crypto Garden: BTC Stretching Its Legs

Once upon a midnight dreary, while traders pondered, weak and weary, Bitcoin quietly built a base at $93,500. Suddenly! With less drama than a bureaucrat’s paperwork but more flair than a Muscovite magician, it bounded through the $95,500 barrier. Bulls cheered, bears grumbled, and someone spilled their vodka in surprise.

Next, not content with mere mortal achievements, BTC surged above $96,500, hit a dizzy $97,405, and decided to sit for a smoke break. A minor slide beneath $97,000 took it to the 23.6% Fibonacci retracement—a number so mysterious even Margarita might hesitate before flying over it.

For now, BTC is perched above $95,000, its 100 hourly SMA wrapped around its shoulders like a well-worn coat. That bullish trend line at $96,350? Still there, like an old friend refusing to pay the bill.

Up ahead on this surreal tram ride, there’s resistance at $97,200. Then the infamous $97,400, with the mother of all resistances—the much-whispered $97,500. Should BTC sashay above it, $98,800 will be on the menu, spiced with the fever-dream of $100,000 looming in the background, winking suggestively. 💃💰

Or Shall We Try Falling Again?

But beware! Should Bitcoin stub its toe at $97,500, the descent could be as theatrical as Bezdomny in a straitjacket. First comes the $96,500 safety net (thin as Annushka’s patience), then a major support at $96,000.

Trip further, and you’ll find $95,200—halfway between hope and despair—or even $94,500: the financial equivalent of Petrovich’s basement. Sabbath or Monday, the true bottom sits at $94,200, where all lost dreams and old rubles go to die.

For the devotees of technical incantations:

The MACD is showing great enthusiasm in the bullish quadrant—perhaps it, too, hopes for a moonlit waltz. The RSI peers down from above 50, shouting, “It’s fine! Really!” like a drunk at Patriarch’s Ponds.

Benevolent Guardians: $96,500, $95,500.
Ominous Foes: $97,500, $98,000.
All attended by the ghostly laughter of speculators and shadows of vanished fortunes. 🕯️

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2025-05-02 06:24