Currency Forecast

Imagine, if you will, a world where Big Tech’s pocket money-a mere $725 billion this year, up 10% from their last allowance-is now rivaling the grand old macro forces like central bank policies. Jean Boivin and Wei Li, the strategists with pens mightier than their calculators, have scribbled this down in a note that’s got everyone’s ears twitching.

Gold, that perpetually brooding diva, strutted in a paler shade of failure. It slipped below the once-imposing orange trendline that had been the subject of more flattery than commitment. Cooper made a sniggering note: the bull flag is now as doomed as a Titanic concert.

This is the most pro-Bitcoin Fed in history.

Key Takeaways:

The ETF will start trading on May 15 under the ticker BHYP on the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE).

Trader Symba notes that Ethereum’s price is beginning to respond positively to recent trading patterns. If the stock market (SPX) continues to perform well, both Bitcoin and Ethereum are likely to follow suit. The price charts indicate Ethereum is breaking out of a recent downward trend after successfully maintaining support at a key level.

Look, I’m not the kind of guy who wakes up at 6 a.m. to chase yield on a blockchain named after a beach in California, mostly because my 24-year-old nephew tried to explain DeFi to me at Thanksgiving last year and I still haven’t recovered. I left that dinner convinced “yield farming” was a new way to grow tomatoes in your closet, and I’m only half wrong. But when Dune-the decentralized analytics platform that sounds like the title of a bad sci-fi novel I’d half-read on a cross-country flight-dropped a tweet last week saying an $11 billion asset manager was messing around with Solana lending markets like they were a new set of golf clubs, I perked up. Mostly because I still haven’t figured out how to move my $17 in Ethereum out of my Metamask without paying more in gas than the $17 is worth, so this whole institutional DeFi thing feels very “rich people doing rich people things while I argue with a customer service bot about a missing pizza topping.”

I just heard some news about Kraken, the crypto exchange I use. Apparently, their parent company, Payward, is laying off around 150 people. It’s a bit concerning, but they have about 3,000 employees total, so it’s a relatively small percentage, but still a sign of the current market conditions.

• Key Takeaways:

• ZachXBT alleges LAB insiders control over 95% of supply and coordinated a 350% pump to a $6B FDV using Bitget infrastructure.
• The investigation exposes four simultaneous retail extraction methods: OTC loans at 7.5%/month, vesting changes, unpaid marketing rewards, and an opaque market-making deal.
• ZachXBT posted a $10,000 bounty on LAB founder Vova Sadkov and called on Binance, Bitget, and Gate to freeze insider profits or delist immediately.

According to Strive’s Chairman and CEO, Matthew Cole, this is a “zero-to-one innovation.” Which, if you ask me, sounds like something a Silicon Valley guru would say while sipping kombucha. But hey, if it means more money in my pocket, I’m not complaining. Unless, of course, it’s in the form of Bitcoin, which is about as stable as my ex’s mood swings.