A month prior, hope flickered like a candle in the wind as the ‘UNIfication’ proposal crept closer to passage, rattling the cages of hodlers and day-traders alike. Passed on Christmas Eve with more votes than a politician’s promises 🗳️, it seemed like a holiday miracle. But here we are, post-Christmas, and the gift under the tree turned out to be a lump of coal. Surprise! 🎁🌑
On a frosty January 16, Buterin gracefully presented a technical blueprint aiming to correct what he fondly described as a ten-year bout of “backsliding” on decentralization. He imagines 2026 as that glorious year when we finally claw back our self-sovereignty crown, daring to dream that the network might once again embrace its libertarian lineage. 🎩✨
For days, it closed at higher highs, a stubborn lover refusing to let go. Then, like a thunderbolt from Zeus himself, it broke free, climbing to a monthly high of $0.14 before a modest retreat. At the hour of my quill’s touch, it trades at $0.137, a 10.9% leap on the daily charts. Its market cap, too, swelled to $486 million, reclaiming its throne in the top 100 crypto rankings. Crown it, for it has risen! 👑💰
CEO David Solomon, ever the optimist, dismissed the delay as a mere hiccup in the grand waltz of progress. “Tokenization,” he declared, “is not a fad but a destiny-a destiny as inevitable as a Wildean wit at a dinner party.” 🥂
Last Thursday, in a scene more attuned to a scene from “The Importance of Being Earnest,” the National Assembly passed key amendments. The Capital Markets Act, alongside the Electronic Securities Act, were gracefully updated, effusively painting tokenized securities as a broad canvas that encompasses debt and equity products-just like their larger cousins, but digital and slightly more avant-garde.
The CLARITY Act – a noble attempt to force order into the chaotic world of digital cowboys – has slowed to a legislative crawl. Coinbase, once clutching it like a lover, has now quietly stepped back. Romance over. But analysts, those ever-hopeful candle-lighters in the storm, say: “Fret not! This is just politics, not a funeral.”
On the 13th of January, no less, XRP’s 23-day simple moving average sashayed above the 50-day, as one can plainly see on the TradingView chart. A golden cross, you say? Why, it’s the first since the tail end of 2025! For those not au fait with such technical trifles, this bullish crossover-with its rather ostentatious “golden” moniker-typically heralds a trend shift, particularly when accompanied by rising volumes or a juicy narrative. 🕵️♂️
Through a series of missives upon the platform known as X (a modern form of correspondence, I gather), Mr. Bird posits that a ‘decisive move’ is nigh, likely before the week is out. Should this move be upward, he predicts a swift advance towards the ambitious target of $2.69, a sum which, he assures us, will herald the arrival of a ‘bull run’. One almost feels a sense of expectation… or is that merely Mr. Bird’s enthusiasm?
Back in 2021, demand was a measly 236,000 BTC, less than the 330,000 supplied. Fast forward to 2024, and institutions are hoarding 913,000 BTC while miners are like, “Uh, we only made 218,000.” Miners: 0, Institutions: 1. ⚽
Now, the rumor mill suggests that MemeMax-a perpetuals decentralized exchange built atop this Layer 1 blockchain-might soon burst forth into the world like an overeager debutante at her first ball. This, naturally, could send M’s price soaring like a startled pheasant 🦅. And let’s not forget the 100% fee buyback program during the pre-launch phase-because nothing says “trust us” like promising to buy back your own fees like a chap desperately trying to return a regrettable hat purchase.