Cryptonews

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On the 1-day chart, its silhouette is undeniably bearish, a shadow play of despair. Yet, like a clown feigning tragedy, a bullish reversal from its nearby liquidity pocket may yet pirouette into view. Will it? Won’t it? The traders, those ever-hopeful tightrope walkers, must keep their eyes peeled. 🤡🔍

Ethereum, that lovable second fiddle to Bitcoin but arguably the cooler blockchain kid on the block, has barely budged-down a negligible 0.2% in 24 hours. Apparently, when all the other cryptos act like they’re stuck in a bad Wi-Fi zone, ETH decides to join the meh club too.

A Bloomberg report, as reliable as a morning coffee, informs us that Strategy’s latest quarterly earnings have blossomed into an unrealized gain of $14 billion. This, my friends, is the final flourish needed to meet the profitability criteria that had, until now, barred our hero from the stage. After all, who could resist a company that has managed to turn the trick of sustained profitability over the last four quarters? 🎩✨

August’s jobs report was like that one kid in class who always forgets their homework-utterly disappointing. It delivered the weakest payroll gains since 2021, leaving Wall Street scratching its head and crypto enthusiasts rubbing their hands with glee. 🤑💼

Per the oracles of Tradingview, the nine-day and 26-day moving averages are set to waltz into union at $2.82-a rendezvous that speaks of optimism! XRP, that most resilient of tokens, has weathered 2025’s trials with the poise of a debutante at a country ball. Should this golden cross materialize, the $3 mark may yet be reclaimed, much to the delight of hopeful investors. 🎉

In a recent X post (because where else would you announce digital doom?), Back revealed that between May and September 2025, inscribed JPEGs grew by 20%, reaching a staggering 105 million. That’s 7,000 BTC spent just to immortalize cat pictures and pixelated art on the blockchain. At $8 per JPEG, humanity is truly living its best life-or worst, depending on how you look at it.

According to the esteemed on-chain data service platform Soso Value, the US spot Ethereum ETF market saw a net outflow of $167.41 million on Thursday, causing the price of ETH to close at a modest $4,275. 📉

And to really make the most of this pro-crypto stance, you’ll need tools like Best Wallet and its native Best Wallet Token ($BEST) to navigate the modern crypto world. Think of it as your trusty six-shooter in the digital frontier. 🤙🔥

Ah, the grand theatre of cryptocurrency unfolds once more! Behold, dear reader, as Gemini-the brainchild of those ever-so-ambitious Winklevoss twins-decides to grace the European Union with its staking and perpetual futures offerings. Truly, a spectacle worthy of Tolstoy himself, though perhaps with fewer bearded peasants and more blockchain enthusiasts. 😅