Currency Forecast

So, this Alex Thorn fellow – a veteran analyst, which means he’s been watching things go up and down for a while – was having a chinwag with CNBC (whatever that is) and confessed he’s lowered his expectations for Bitcoin. From a dazzling $185,000 to a… well, still quite a lot, $120,000. But a downgrade nonetheless!😱

Ah, Midnight! That little sidechain project of Cardano, wrapped in mystery, and focused on privacy. Of course, 60% of Hoskinson’s posts are dedicated to it-because why not? It’s not like he’s busy running an entire blockchain or anything. Midnight has its own foundation, a flashy marketing department, and is out there making partnerships. A quarter of his posts, though, still talk about Cardano-governance, scalability, community milestones. Yes, the things we actually care about. The rest, a modest 15%, is dedicated to showing how Cardano and Midnight are besties-integrated, like peas in a pod, or more appropriately, two blockchain peas in a privacy-focused pod.

Blockchain detectives (aka people with too much time) confirmed the wallet torched a delightful cocktail of worthless tokens totaling $49k. The main victims? QUQ ($30.5k – ouch), SIREN ($14.2k – ironic name), and BNBCARD ($4.3k – which sounds like something you’d find in a cereal box). Poof! Gone. Like my motivation on Mondays.

Trump Media and Technology Group Corp. (Nasdaq, NYSE Texas: DJT), the proud curator of Truth Social, unveiled its Q3 2025 financial tapestry. The company boasts $3.1 billion in total assets-cash, restricted cash, short-term investments, trading securities, and digital assets. One might call it a financial mosaic… or a Rorschach test for sanity. 🎨

RealFi, you see, is no ordinary beast. It preys upon the underserved, the forgotten souls of the financial wilderness, offering them morsels of credit, tiny loans that bloom like flowers in the desert. And lo, the interest, that sweet nectar, binds the blockchain to the mortal realm of finance! 🌱💰

In the sacred scrolls of the SEC’s 13-F filing, we find JPMorgan hoarding 5.2 million IBIT shares by September 30th, a 64% surge in zeal-like a miser clutching gold, yet trembling at its own greed. 💰 Yet lo, this pile, once worth $333 million, now dwindles to $312 million, as if the market itself mocks their ambition. 🤡

Let’s band together and address this scallywag problem squarely in the eye! On a delightful Wednesday (November 6, to be precise), Binance – the friend of those entangled in the cryptic web of currency – delivered the holy gospel on how to vault your Binance account in the treacherous wake of a stolen device. It’s the kind of post-thievery protocol that feels less like a suggestion and more like “do this or I’ll tell your grandmother about your NFT losses.”

Analysts, those modern-day prophets, caution that the path to $2.40 is paved with volatility and the fragile hopes of Reddit commenters. “Short-term fluctuations are likely,” they sigh, as if forecasting rain on a picnic. Dogecoin’s fate hinges on tweets, memes, and the fickle whims of a crowd that once bought into a dog coin. 🐾

James Chanos, the Cassandra of Wall Street (minus the tragic flair and plus a Bloomberg terminal), has long warned that Strategy’s obsession with bitcoin would end in tears-or at least a margin call. 🕵️♂️💸

Pi Coin (PI), trading at $0.2240, has plummeted 90% from its zenith. A nadir so profound, one might mistake it for a black hole’s entrance. But fear not! Our anonymous whale, now clutching 371 million tokens (worth $82 million), has suffered a $40 million loss-a financial ballet of losses choreographed by October’s cruel hand. 💸