- Bitcoin, like a stubborn mule in an overcrowded bazaar, struggles at the $95k checkpoint – retail sellers jostling to cash out as if the bell for free potatoes just rang.
- Bold or blinded? So-called “models” throw darts at $150k-$200k for BTC’s 2025 destination. If only they could predict lottery numbers instead…
Ah, Bitcoin [BTC]. Still chained around $95k, circling this value like a hungry dog around an indifferent butcher’s stall. According to the Swissblock sages, $95k is where the little people – the honest retailers – see their break-even and begin their nervous exodus. The dreams of moon-bound Lamborghini drivers stall in the smoke of the sell-off.
“The $94K–$95K wall holds $BTC back. A pullback looms, but once retail stops, we’ll break through.”
(Translation: ‘Someone please tell the retailers to stop panicking—you’re scaring the whales!’)
Meanwhile, the market optimists (those who never overcook their borscht) like Mathew Hyland say the bulls have control. Why? Because a candle closed. Not in the wind, but above $92k. The faith remains unshaken!
Suppose this time the crystal balls are not cracked – how high can this thing leap?
Charting BTC’s next absurd summit
The mysterious Onchain College, fearing the judgment of mothers everywhere, hides behind a pseudonym while declaring: BTC could vault past $200k using Bitcoin Delta Cap – a metric stitched together from ancient runes, blockchain spells, and possibly a broken calculator.
Delta Cap says, “Sure, we’ve been right before – why not again?” If the ghosts of cycles past whisper true, $210k lies ahead. Or maybe the price of milk will finally go down. Either way, exciting!
Other valuation tricks, like Bitcoin Quantile, nod in agreement – $200k++ seems achievable, provided no one wakes up from the dream.
Of course, the famous Pi Cycle Top indicator (no relation to dessert) throws a slightly smaller party: $150k-$180k is the top, assuming the current cycle doesn’t take a nap before the end of 2025.
The models, despite their differences, at least agree in optimism, like comrades at a workers’ rally before payday. Even BTC’s True MVRV shows promise.
True MVRV, after peaking at 2 (just like that one guy at the pub who always leaves at 11), marked BTC’s latest stall at $109k. It’s the same old dance as early 2024, when hope was cheap.
A curious bounce followed the metric dipping to 1.4, just as last September. Coincidence? Fate? Or simply speculators getting bored?
But the legendary ‘cycle peaks’ only arrive with a True MVRV of 3 or higher. Today, it’s just a humble 1.6. That means, according to the ancient scrolls, there’s “room to expand.” (Or fall off the table, depending on who you ask.)
And yet, whispers persist: What if the four-year myth of Bitcoin is broken, twisted by greedy institutions bulldozing through the market? Should these models be taken seriously? Only if you also trust horoscopes and fortune cookies. Pass the salt and enjoy the show! 🍿🤔
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2025-04-30 09:18