You Won’t Believe What’s Happening to Gold — Is It the Next Genie in a Lamp?

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Analysts over at The Kobeissi Letter (which, let’s be honest, sounds like something you need to see a doctor about) say that pure, unfiltered uncertainty is running the gold show right now. Everyone’s so jittery, even the gold bars are shivering. 🍫

Once upon a time — meaning, before this year — gold was trailing behind the S&P 500 by 10%. The S&P said, “Catch up!” Gold said, “Oy vey, my feet hurt!” But now? Uncertainty enters like a mother-in-law at your wedding, and BAM! Gold’s up 109% since 2020! The S&P 500 is still doing great—up 74%—but gold just swiped the lead like it was auditioning for a heist movie.

Turns out, nervous people really love gold funds: in just three weeks, $8 billion poured in. If you’re wondering where all your spare change went, check under the couch… or in a gold fund. Looks like everyone’s packing their bags for “Safetyville.” Population: $8 billion and a flock of terrified analysts.

The four-week moving average of inflows — which is just a fancy way to say “people keep shoving money into gold like it’s Black Friday at a mattress store” — hit $4 billion. In other words, if there’s ever been a stronger gold market, you were probably a pharaoh and missed it. 🏺

Meanwhile, central banks are hoarding gold like it’s toilet paper in 2020. Foreign holdings of US Treasuries dropped to 23% of US government debt, the lowest in decades. Either everyone’s seen enough US TV, or they just really love shiny things.

Not to be outdone, global reserves are now almost 18% gold. That’s a 26-year high! Somewhere, Scrooge McDuck is prepping his diving board and cackling wildly. 🦆

If that’s not enough, the US Dollar Index (aka “DXY,” which, to be honest, sounds like a rejected Star Wars droid) just fell to a 52-week low. The weaker dollar means gold is on discount for anyone with a taste for bling and foreign currency. Is gold now a leading indicator for tariffs? Sure. And pastrami sandwiches predict traffic jams. Why not?

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2025-05-07 23:44