Alex Thorn, the head of research over at Galaxy Digital (which sounds suspiciously like a cool villain’s lair, but I digress), has some shocking news for us. According to Thorn, the US government—yes, the very same government that still hasn’t figured out how to make a website work—might be adding Bitcoin (BTC) to its Strategic Bitcoin Reserve (SBR) this year. I know, right? As if Congress wasn’t busy enough with whatever it is Congress does these days.
In a very special appearance on Bloomberg Crypto—because nothing screams excitement like talking about crypto on a financial network—Thorn stated that the US will, in fact, buy BTC. Not just the Bitcoin they’ve confiscated (which, by the way, is a weird flex), but the government will be actually purchasing more of it in 2025. All of this, of course, is to “boost” the SBR. Because, why not? The world is on fire, so let’s add some digital currency to the flames!
“Back in March,” Thorn continued, “they set up the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve and the United States Digital Asset Stockpile Executive Order… which basically says, ‘Hey, let’s not sell our Bitcoin but go ahead and figure out how to buy more, without accidentally buying any of those pesky altcoins.’
Oh, and did I mention that the government is explicitly prohibited from selling the Bitcoin they already own? That’s right. It’s like holding onto your 1999 Beanie Babies collection because “it might be worth something someday” and then promising not to sell them under any circumstances. Pure genius!
Thorn also pointed out that Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent is now, apparently, “literally saying that Bitcoin is becoming a store of value.” As if we all didn’t know that. But hey, it’s 2025, and anything is possible. If this was a reality TV show, I would probably be rooting for Scott and his team to come out victorious. Add a little drumbeat from Bo Hines, Executive Director of the President’s Council of Advisers on Digital Assets, and voilà! We have ourselves a plot twist!
Now, as for how the government will manage to buy more Bitcoin without dipping into its budget, Thorn’s got an idea. You know, because he’s a professional and probably not the guy who’d forget his lunch at home. He suggests that they could sell some of the altcoins that are sitting in the “sell-only” digital asset stockpile, which—surprise!—could then be traded for Bitcoin.
“Here’s the genius part,” Thorn says, “you don’t even need cash to make it happen. No cash. Ever. Just pure altcoin-to-Bitcoin magic. Forget about the general treasury, and boom! It’s like a financial sleight of hand.”
So, there you have it folks. The US government might be on the verge of becoming the world’s most unexpected Bitcoin whale. Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy, blockchain-filled ride.
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2025-04-22 15:05