You Won’t Believe What Bitcoin Miners Are Doing To Beat The System! 🤠

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Now here’s a notion as wild as a Missouri river during flood season: John Glover, a high-falutin’ money wrangler from a place called Ledn, says Bitcoin miners ought to clutch onto their hard-earned Bitcoin like a hound guardin’ a soup bone, and use it as collateral while they take out loans in depreciatin’ dollars, rather than just sellin’ off their winnings at the first sign of trouble. That way, when the price rockets up like a Fourth of July firework, them miners won’t be caught sittin’ on an empty wallet and a pile of regrets.

Glover jawed with CryptoMoon—yes, that’s the real name—layin’ out all the perils and promises of holdin’ on to Bitcoin:

“If you are mining, you are generating all this Bitcoin. You understand the thesis behind Bitcoin and why it is likely going to continue to appreciate in the future. You do not want to sell any of your Bitcoin.”

Smart fella. Basically, his wisdom is: if you’re raisin’ gold chickens, don’t go scramblin’ the eggs for breakfast. Instead, let those eggs hatch, and borrow a few rusty, fiat coins from the local banker that smells like mothballs and moral bankruptcy. (No offense to any bankers in the room. Except Bill. You know what you did.)

This approach is about as “debt-based” as my cousin after a bad night at the poker table. It’s a trick right outta the big corporate playbook—a little financial sorcery where you sell off debts and shares to scoop up more Bitcoin, and hope the fiat don’t fall faster than your mama’s soufflé.

Now, all those Bitcoin-backed loans? They’re the flotation device for miners treading water in a pool full of economic alligators. Especially with all the head-scratching antics from President Trump—the man who could put a tariff on sunlight if he thought it would improve his tan. Nothing like a trade war to turn steady ground into a muddy mess, with hardware prices heading up quicker than a prairie dog chased by a coyote.

Trade war places even more pressure on beleaguered mining industry

The mining biz has always been tough—sorta like diggin’ for gold with a teaspoon. The more folks you got in the stream, the smaller your flakes get. And as if that weren’t enough, now hardware’s gettin’ so pricey you need a gold mine just to buy the tools you need to dig the gold mine. That’s progress, 21st-century style! 🤷‍♂️

Back in March 2025, miners got so jittery from the trade war jitters and economic fog that they dumped over 40% of their mined stash—probably figuring losing your Bitcoin is better than losing your shirt. This bucked the trend since April 2024, and apparently it was the most frantic BTC sell-off since October 2024. Miners panic-selling faster than a snake oil salesman at closing time.

To sum it up, if you’re in the mining game, Glover says: hang onto your Bitcoins, borrow from the bank, and hope your debt don’t age faster than the U.S. dollar at an inflation party. And if you manage to get rich off it, don’t forget old Mark Twain over here, sittin’ on the riverbank and waitin’ for someone to buy him a drink. 🍻

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2025-05-03 22:44