You Won’t Believe What Bitcoin Did at $100K – And How the Herd Reacted!

There, upon the pale and indifferent screen, the numbers flickered: 100,000 dollars. No shriek, no cannonade—just the silent march of digits in the icy glare of the modern gulag: the Exchange. Ah, how our masters of fate, these fortuitous speculators, cackled beneath their LED lamps as if the price itself would warm their bones. 😏

With the zeal of a commissar clutching ration cards, Bitcoin slipped beyond this arbitrary barricade, momentum lumbering forth with the inevitability of a prison roll call. The buyers, emboldened, glanced nervously at one another. Had anyone told them the last time they’d witness such heights, their laughter might well have earned them three years in the camps, but here we are.

Technical Analysis (Because Human Suffering Isn’t Quantifiable in Charts… Yet)

The Daily Chart

On the daily ledger of human folly, BTC bulldozed the $100K wall and lounges around $103K, like a party apparatchik who’s overstayed his welcome. The breakout was as polished as state propaganda: both the 100-day and 200-day moving averages dutifully reclaimed, trendlines saluted and obeyed—an orchestrated ballet of compliance.

The RSI, that grim bureaucrat, with a twisted smile, now proclaims overbought conditions at 75+. “Momentum is strong!” it declares—while hinting at a short-term hangover that even the politburo could see coming. See here, comrades, $108K is the next checkpoint, while $99K—once scorned—is now your pillar of support. (Nothing like conversion to make old enemies friends, eh?) BTC Daily Chart

The 4-Hour Chart

The 4H watchmen observed the price claw out of a rising wedge, as if digging a tunnel from cell block $97K–$98K out toward freedom at $103K. Momentum indicators—these ever-optimistic informants—confirm strength, but now whisper rumors of exhaustion. Shall there be a retreat to $100K or even $98K? Perhaps. But unless $96K–$97K falls, the parade marches ever onward, bootsteps echoing into the digital void. BTC 4H Chart

Onchain Analysis (Where Hope and Supply Go to Die)

Exchange Reserve

Look to the ledger: exchange reserves sink even lower, scraping a new trough in the annals of absurdity. Fewer coins gather dust on the exchanges, as if even inanimate code seeks asylum from the selling squads. 📉

The old guards clutch their digital treasures close, unmoved by the wailing at $100K. Shrinking balances evidence either faith or stubbornness but bolster the breakout narrative with all the conviction of an undercooked ration. Let them dream of rallies; let the crowd gather for another round of collective hallucination. BTC Exchange Reserve

And so, the spectacle continues, lavish and indifferent as the evening snow. The hash rate rolls onward; the herd, as ever, shivers with anticipation and existential dread. 🥶📈

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2025-05-09 18:07