When the wind blows out of the east and men get jumpy, money gets jumpy too. In some smoky office in Tehran, Khamenei—Beard of Destiny, Supreme Leader, or just the guy who won’t answer your calls—sat with a frown deeper than a miner’s pit. Word had rolled across the desert like a dust storm: Trump wanted surrender. Surrender, he said, as if he were offering a neighbor a cup of sugar and not some ultimatum that can get a lot of folks killed or cranky.
The President, with his own version of diplomatic poetry, called Khamenei an “easy target.” (Now, nobody ever accused Donald of lacking subtlety. Subtlety, after all, is for folks with time on their hands and hoarse voices.) The wire services said Khamenei replied with a flat “No.” No surrender. No phone-a-friend. No deal.
Seems the only thing falling faster than patience in the Middle East was Bitcoin. BTC dropped like a stone in a dry riverbed—below $105,000. It’s hard to say what made speculators sweat more: war drums or the thought of Trump and Netanyahu on a cell-phone plan together.
Meanwhile, ships piled into the sea: destroyers, carriers, more destroyers, all floating toward the region with a sort of grim enthusiasm only the Pentagon could call “purely defensive.” (Right. And my grandmother’s meatloaf was “purely nutritional.”)
So, bitcoin’s price is doing what it always does when men with microphones start shaking their fists—going down, then pretending it might go the other way on some magical Tuesday that never comes.
The sun sets. Money trembles. And far away, somebody with too many screens and not enough good sense is yelling at a chart. 🚢💵🤦♂️
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2025-06-18 15:54