You Won’t Believe How This NFT ‘Visionary’ Vanished With Millions—A Comedy of Crypto Errors!

by

Darlings, fetch the smelling salts and perhaps a stiff drink: a new drama unfurls in the mystical, baffling realm of NFTs. The players? Several would-be titans of industry who, inspired—or, one might say, ensnared—by the bracing winds of web3, placed their trust (and, more painfully, their dosh) into an enterprise so modern it almost forgot to exist.

Allow me to set the scene. The Hashling NFT project, that glittering bauble of digital dreams, has left its investors not so much rich as richly aggrieved. Their erstwhile chum, Jonathan Mills—let’s call him Captain Coin—allegedly absconded with untold millions and the sort of chutzpah not seen since the last family game of Monopoly turned sour.

On May 14, in a court of Illinois (because of course it’s Illinois), our intrepid plaintiffs formally accused Mills of the old switcheroo. As per the script, Captain Coin is supposed to have spirited away at least $3 million from crypto mining, funneling it (oh, so modern!) through a series of holding companies: Satoshi Labs, née Proof of Work Labs. These business names change faster than a cabaret star changes costumes. 👗🪙

What did Mills promise? Returns, equity, the stuff of PowerPoint, but alas! According to the accusers, their bank accounts remain quieter than a poetry recital at a taxidermy convention. They pooled some $1.46 million from NFT drops on Solana and the grand old Bitcoin, but their returns, like hope in a Russian novel, are nowhere to be found.

No sooner had the funds disappeared than so, allegedly, did Mr Mills. Gone! Like the last canapé at a Soho cocktail party. The chap evidently crafted a shareholder agreement with “more errors than a Shakespearean farce,” all to support his increasingly fantastic tale of corporate control.

The comedy continues: Mills awarded himself a delightfully immodest 67% of the shares (why not the whole 100% and be done with it?), while his partners— stalwarts, each—got just 2%. That’s entrepreneurism, darling: always remember to keep the lion’s share and leave your friends the gentle whiff of opportunity. 🦁💸

And, in a move not even Lady Bracknell could endorse, Mills also retained 67% of the voting power—so that’s a solid two-thirds for Mills, and a scattering of crumbs for everyone else. Bravo.

CryptoMoon, go-getters that they are, attempted to summon Mills for comment. Shockingly, he did not immediately emerge from the shadows waving a white flag.

Mills Supposedly Didn’t Know a Darn Thing About NFTs

The backstory is even more uplifting. This entire venture began when Dustin Steerman, evidently untouched by cynicism, partnered with Mills despite the latter forthrightly admitting he knew precisely nothing about NFTs—and less about money. ‘He had a willingness to help push the project forward,’ their lawyer explained, no trace of irony detected, ‘and had an idea at the start.’ 🧠✨

“Even though that wasn’t the final idea, it did embolden it, and … everyone kind of enjoyed working together in those early stages.”

Ah, those halcyon days of shared delusion! With visions of digital sugar-plums dancing in their heads, Mills and Steerman reeled in more investors. Tasks ranged from ‘NFT art’ to hobnobbing at New York conferences, all in the fevered hope of conjuring some digital gold from the blockchain ether.

Mills even—romantically, some might say—persuaded his girlfriend to drop some coins into the melee. 🥂❤️

Now, bruised but not bowed, the plaintiffs pursue legal redress with cries for restitution, punitive actions, and, one imagines, a very strongly worded group chat. The moral? If you’re going to partner on an NFT project, ensure your would-be CEO brings more to the table than an uncanny knack for collectable misadventures.

Turn your crypto chaos into classy clarity with [Draft Alpha](https://pollinations.ai/redirect/draftalpha) — the effortless brand voice for visionary projects!

Read More

2025-05-15 09:35