You Won’t Believe How Schwab Plans to Meme the Crypto World by 2026! šŸš€

Imagine, if you will, a venerable bastion of finance—Charles Schwab—now prancing boldly into the mercurial waltz of cryptographic coins, where Bitcoin and Ethereum pirouette with the unpredictable grace of a drunken ballerina. This astonishing tale unfolded under the watchful eye of Rick Wurster, the new czar of Schwab, who, in the ceremonious pantheon of Spring 2025 updates, declared their imminent plunge into spot crypto trading. Clients shall soon summon the power to buy and sell these pixelated treasures directly, like children trading PokĆ©mon cards but with slightly more existential dread.

Schwab’s Grand March Toward Spot Crypto Trading, or How to Dance With Digital Demons

Until now, Schwab offered mere glimpses of crypto through the foggy glass of ETFs, closed-end funds, and futures contracts—financial apparatuses that resemble ice skates on a molten lake. But no more! Mr. Wurster’s confident trumpet proclaims that they stand ā€œon a great pathā€ to launch direct spot trading within the coming solar cycle, just as regulators painstakingly draft the shape-shifting rulebooks of this brave new world. Apparently, this is less a leap of faith and more a strategic gambit to capture the gaze of investors both retail-wielding mortals and the demigods of institutions alike.

The CEO, a man who once sipped the nectar of caution while awaiting clearer regulatory skies, now sees a swelling tide where crypto-related website visits have exploded by a ludicrous 400%, seventy percent coming from the crypto-curious masses who have yet to pledge allegiance to Schwab’s banner. A clandestine 40% exultation in profits last quarter suggests even the timid have begun whispering sweet nothings to their digital wallets, tempted by the siren song of volatility.

“Spot crypto trading, dear reader,” quipped Nate Geraci, the oracle of the ETF Store, “will soon be the mere entrance fee to the grand casino that is modern brokerage.” Your move, Wall Street.

Schwab CEO expects to launch direct spot crypto trading w/in next 12mos…

As I’ve said numerous times in past, spot crypto trading will be table stakes for every major brokerage.

via @RIABiz

— Nate Geraci (@NateGeraci) April 19, 2025

Joining the Knights Who Say ā€˜Coin’: Schwab Enters the Crypto Joust

The crypto joust is already crowded with gladiators: Coinbase, Binance, Kraken, Gemini, each brandishing liquidity and weaponized trading tools with martial precision. Traditional royalty, like Fidelity and Robinhood, have unfurled their banners too, allowing the common foot soldier to trade commissions as if they were hot gossip. Schwab, never one to miss a parade, recently clasped hands with Trump Media and Technology Group, forging the arcane enterprise Truth.fi—an empire brewing with ETFs, Bitcoin, and the enigmatic ā€œPatriot Economy,ā€ promising to shepherd up to $250 million in assets through American pastures.

Bitcoin’s Surprisingly Agile Bounce

Bitcoin, that capricious beast, pranced upward by a modest yet defiant 0.61% this past Saturday, April 19, reclaiming a steadfast perch just above $85,000—a summit not scaled in an entire week. This lively rebound arrives amid the swirling storms of geopolitical bickering and economic unease, as supply and demand engage in their timeless, cryptic danse macabre.

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2025-04-20 09:54