Useless Coin (USELESS) hits $0.10! Oy vey, what a world—people paying for nothing! That’s not just a rally, it’s a quadruple somersault over reason. And it all started in early June. Before that, even your grandma’s Matzo ball had more utility.
The surge pumped its market cap to $100 million! (Don’t ask what happens when reality hits—spilled bagels everywhere.)
Could Useless Coin Actually Make You Rich? (Or Just Make Your Mother Kvetch?)
Officially, USELESS has the utility of a screen door on a submarine—zilch! Born just a month ago via LetsBONK Fun on Solana; no roadmap, no whitepaper, not even a treasure map—just chutzpah and bad ideas done to perfection.
In early June, USELESS plummeted to the bargain price of $0.004. But like a deli after midnight, things got crazy—suddenly it’s up, up, up, and next thing you know: $0.10! Market cap? Enough to buy a lot of pastrami—$101.9 million.
“USELESS is up over 2,000% from the lows and has outperformed DOGE, SHIB, PEPE, SPX, FARTCOIN, WIF… It even outran my Uncle Morty when someone yelled ‘Free samples!’”
Right now, USELESS is back at $0.080. Relax—it’s still up 15.2% today. Almost as volatile as my Aunt Edna’s mood, but more profitable.
Weekly stats? Up 487.5%! On CoinGecko, it’s more popular than a knish at a bar mitzvah. Bullish sentiment is 85% because apparently, FOMO is stronger than common sense.
Trading volume spiked to $23.22 million—a 60.8% jump. (Somewhere out there, Gordon Gekko is weeping tears of confusion.)
Even more ridiculous: 12,480 holders now believe in USELESS. And one of those lucky schleps is up over $2 million, because sometimes the punchline is on everyone else.
Lookonchain says Unipcs—right out of the Bonk community—scooped up 2.8% of all USELESS (28.08 million tokens) for $381,900. It’s now worth over $2.3 million. Does he sell? Fuhgeddaboudit! HODL like your bubbe holds onto Tupperware.
“I only have strong conviction about USELESS because it’s the best memecoin narrative ever,” says Unipcs. Sure—if ‘best narrative’ means the wildest story you’d never tell your accountant.
But here’s the plot twist: with 48 tokens in his wallet, our hero is underwater on 44 of them. So he’s basically the King of USELESS, but still can’t buy himself a happy ending. 🥯💸 #OyVeyCrypto
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2025-06-16 08:51