Michael Saylor, the man who practically owns the concept of “buying in bulk” when it comes to Bitcoin, made yet another eyebrow-raising announcement today. The co-founder and current Executive Chairman of the world’s largest corporate BTC holder, also known as Strategy (formerly MicroStrategy – because who doesn’t love a good rebrand?), just casually announced they’ve added another 6,556 BTC to their ever-growing collection.
The firm, who clearly believes in the power of digital coins more than your average treasure-hunting pirate, shelled out a mere $555.8 million for this latest batch of shiny Bitcoin, bringing their total stash to a whopping 538,200 BTC. Yes, you read that correctly. A mere half a million. Piece of cake, right? 🍰
$MSTR has acquired 6,556 BTC for ~$555.8 million at ~$84,785 per bitcoin and has achieved BTC Yield of 12.1% YTD 2025. As of 4/20/2025, @Strategy holds 538,200 $BTC acquired for ~$36.47 billion at ~$67,766 per bitcoin.
— Michael Saylor (@saylor) April 21, 2025
For those keeping score at home, Strategy’s latest BTC splurge came in at around $84,785 per coin – a price that, ironically, was a steal just a week ago when Bitcoin was still stuck in the low $80,000s. Since then, the value has rocketed past $87,000. Ah, the joys of timing! 🏃♂️💨
Now, you might be wondering, “How much has Strategy actually spent on all this?” Well, grab your seat, because it’s a dizzying $36.47 billion. Yes, billion with a B. And with the average price of Bitcoin being $67,766 per coin, Strategy is now sitting on unrealized profits of about $10 billion. 🤑
As if all this weren’t enough, Strategy’s stock price is doing the financial equivalent of “hold my beer.” It survived the recent storm caused by US President Donald Trump’s tariffs and is actually up by 4% month-over-month. After taking a brief dive to $230 during the sell-off two weeks ago (whoops!), it’s now enjoying the sweet, sweet taste of $320. 🏆
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- tag, not repeated as a header. They want all images retained and no tags or color styles. First, I’ll start with the title. The original title is “Hyperliquid Price Reversal, Will Bears Drag HYPE Down to $35?” I need to make it more clickbaity and Terry Pratchett-esque. Maybe something like “Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸” That’s under 100 characters? Let me check: “Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸” – yes, 97 characters. Good. Next, the body. The first paragraph talks about the rollercoaster week with whale activity and liquidations. Terry would probably compare it to something absurd. Maybe a “rollercoaster” isn’t enough. Maybe “the Hyperliquid rollercoaster took a detour through a black hole” or something. Also, mention the whale trader with a humorous twist. Maybe “a certain whale with a penchant for drama and a balance sheet thicker than a fantasy novel” to add that Pratchett flair. The second paragraph about the $19 billion event. Maybe refer to it as “the Great Liquidation of Doom” or something. “fresh on the backdrop” could be “fresh from the annals of ‘Oh My Goodness, Not Again'” to add humor. In the price analysis section, the 8% drop. Terry might compare it to a “graceful swan dive into a puddle of despair.” The market cap and volume up 4.22%-maybe “panic selling and algorithmic trades are having a party where the only music is the sound of wallets sobbing.” The technicals part: slipped below SMA lines. Maybe “HYPE decided to play ‘hot potato’ with its moving averages.” MACD and RSI-describe them as “momentum indicators are throwing a hissy fit” and RSI “hovering near 41 like a nervous pigeon.” The FAQs need to be rewritten with sarcasm. “Why is Hyperliquid underperforming?” could be phrased as “Why is Hyperliquid underperforming? Well, let’s see. It’s like asking why a duck is bad at chess…” Then mention the technical breakdowns and whale shorts as “a perfect storm of technical breakdowns and whale-sized shorts.” Next support level: “The $33-$35 range is the next critical support zone…” Maybe “the $33-$35 range is where hopes go to be gently soothed by Fibonacci fairy dust.” Recovery question: “HYPE needs a sustained close above $41.42…” Maybe “HYPE needs to do the equivalent of a sober caber toss over $41.42.” Throughout, add emojis where appropriate. For example, after mentioning whales, add 🐋💸. In the FAQs, maybe 💩 for the underperforming question. Check for all images retained. The figure tag is there, so leave it as is. Avoid using tags, no color styles. Ensure the title is only in the tag and not as a header. The original had H2 headers, so keep those but maybe tweak the text to be more whimsical. Like “Hyperliquid Price Analysis” becomes “Hyperliquid Price Analysis (Or: The Day the HYPE Died?)” Wait, but the user said not to repeat the title in the body as a header. The original title was “Hyperliquid Price Reversal, Will Bears Drag HYPE Down to $35?” but the new title is different. So the H2 headers should be original, so the first H2 can stay as “Hyperliquid Price Analysis” but maybe add some humor there. Alternatively, maybe “Hyperliquid’s Great Adventure in the Land of Red Arrows” or something. But need to make sure it’s not the same as the title. Also, ensure that the humor is consistent throughout, with a bit of sarcasm and playful language. Avoid markdown, just HTML. Check for any tags and remove them. Use , , , etc., as in the original. Finally, wrap it all in HTML structure with the new title, and ensure emojis are appropriately placed without overdoing it. Let me go through each section step by step and inject the humor, sarcasm, and emojis as per Terry Pratchett’s style.End of Thought (23.26s) Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸
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2025-04-21 15:53