You Will Not Believe the Daring Financial Escapades of 3iQ and AltNovel! 🤯💰

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the AltNovel Digital Access Portfolio. One can only suppose the invitations were embossed. 📜

The very first digital asset multi-strategy fund in the Middle East! The phrase has a ring to it, like the opening line of a Gothic novel or, perhaps, a particularly daring wager at whist.

ADAP, as this marvel is called (one abhors acronyms, but what can one do?) courts only the most discerning of institutional investors. No provincial fortune-hunter shall be admitted. Promising reduced “correlation” — a delightful word, as if one might hope certain funds would stop gossiping with one another — and improved risk-adjusted returns, the fund seeks to do for investments what Darcy did for social standing: elevate it considerably, with as little fuss as possible.

And what lofty aims! Diversification, balance, lower volatility, and drawdowns so modest one’s aunt would not even mention them at tea: AltNovel speaks of annual returns no less than 20%, and drawdowns dainty enough at 2.4%. If only Mr. Wickham had minded his capital with such care.

With the establishment of this fund, the door to the digital assets ballroom is truly flung open — though, one observes, only to those with elegant gloves and a taste for “blockchain technology.” The poor unconnected squire from the countryside must hope for another invitation.

“This partnership is a veritable debutante ball for our dear AltNovel,” declared Mr. Stergios Voskopoulos, the presiding officer of the house, in tones fit for the grandest assembly rooms.

“Digital assets are quite the latest thing — the next frontier, if you will — and as such demand outfits sufficiently forward-thinking and customizable.” (One is uncertain if he meant the funds, or the fashions, but the sentiment stands). 👗💸

As for 3iQ, whose first steps upon the financial stage date from the far-off year of 2012, their record is as glittering as a summer ball at Netherfield. They dared first with a Bitcoin and Ethereum exchange-traded product upon a public exchange, and now, with the enthusiasm of Lydia running off with a militia officer, have tossed staking into their Ethereum ETP’s and unveiled a Solana staking product in Canada as well.

In conclusion, one must observe that with such dazzling innovation, old-fashioned piano lessons and curtseys scarcely prepare a person for the modern waltz of digital investments. Investors, take heed: the future is now, and it is wearing a rather dashing waistcoat.

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2025-05-07 20:58