XRP Whales Go Berserk: 300,000 Wallets & an Ocean of Drama 🌊

TL;DR

Gargantuan XRP “whales”—those rare creatures clutching 10,000+ tokens like pearls—have multiplied, their numbers swelling beyond the delirious count of 300,000.
Despite XRP exhibiting the vigor of a Victorian patient on a fainting couch, commentators are practically fainting themselves from excitement, exclaiming this accumulation is “insanely bullish.”

Behold: a graph lurks below, tracing the sumptuous ballet of the XRP whales. Post-election, these vast mammals feasted, obviously titillated by whispers of future regulatory cataclysms. Regulatory ambiguity, after all, is the siren song to which all crypto leviathans sway.

December? A brief winter of discontent—a pause, a yawn, a checking of watches. But January 2025 arrived, and our whales cannonballed back into the briny deep of XRP. Think of New Year’s resolutions, but with more zeroes.

By the latest count from our friends at Glassnode, more than 300,000 digital corsairs now hoard 10,000+ XRP a piece. Commentator Amonyx, whose handle sizzles with fluorescent braggadocio, calls this “insanely bullish”—a phrase that would surely rouse Nabokov’s butterfly net in twitching envy—and claims it is “absolute proof of surging investor confidence.” One marvels at the confidence required to purchase hypothetical coins with hypothetical dollars.

INSANELY BULLISH: #XRP whales are showing up BIG time! 🐋

Glassnode: addresses holding 10K+ XRP just hit 300K—proof that investor confidence is climbing faster than my caffeine intake.

The big money knows what’s coming. Do you?

— Amonyx (@amonbuy) May 3, 2025

For the statistically inclined: whales amassed upwards of 900 million XRP in April—a sum approaching $2 billion, or roughly the cost of a good Manhattan apartment, complete with existential dread.

With the SEC finally unsticking its claws from Ripple, the firm now embarks on further adventures: devouring Hidden Road in one bite, and nearly choking on the ill-fated Circle acquisition. Meanwhile, the ever-restless XRP Army awaits the coming of a spot ETF, their fever lately stoked by rumors of futures ETF approval. If excitement were a disease, quarantine would be advised.

Alas, the SEC—America’s most devoted procrastinator—has nudged Franklin Templeton’s XRP ETF decision to June, perhaps after consulting their tarot cards. ETF experts predict that the summer of 2025 will bring a hatching season of crypto ETFs. One imagines the whales, pausing among the waves, preparing umbrellas and party hats for the coming storm. 🐳🥳

2025-05-04 09:44

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