Worldcoin Forced to Delete Iris Scans in Kenya—You Won’t Believe Their Next Move! 👀🚨

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Ah, judgment—that odd, heavy word, dropped like a frozen potato by people in thick legal robes. In the shadows of a Nairobi courtroom, Worldcoin tasted its own digital medicine, this time courtesy of Justice Aburili Roselyne. Seven days—just seven!—for Worldcoin to scour away its collection of irises and grim, unblinking faces. (Don’t forget the eyebrows! 🧐) Katiba Institute and ICJ Kenya stood by, arms folded, Data Protection Officer breathing down Worldcoin’s neck like a Soviet inspector at a black-market bread sale.

So Much for “Trust Us With Your Eyes”

Alas, Worldcoin, like a child caught with a forbidden toy, wasn’t merely told to delete its stash. No more new faces, no more bright eyeballs, no further biometric noodling for you! The absence of a Data Protection Impact Assessment—oh, that famous DPIA—rendered their entire operation about as lawful as a midnight onion theft in a kolkhoz.

Someone at ICJ Kenya, channeling their inner philosopher, said, “The judgment rightly underscores that even in the digital age, constitutional rights—especially the right to privacy under Article 31—must be upheld.” (One can only imagine the sigh of relief from all whose irises are, for now, unorbed.)

The Swell of Worldcoin Ambition Meets the Wall of Kenyan Reality

What to do when your plans for crypto-iris-dominance end in court orders and sarcasm? Ask Sam Altman, the visionary OpenAI chap who thought, “What if we pay people for their retinas?” (Spoiler: not everyone’s a fan.) In Kenya, Worldcoin’s convoy of metallic Orbs scanned eyeballs faster than a ration card gets a stamp, sparking whispers, rumors, and enough concern to fill a Siberian gulag library.

By court decree, the Worldcoin optimism train screeched to a halt—at least in Kenya, where user numbers had been rising as sharply as the price of winter potatoes. Someone in Nairobi will have to find a new way to “see” the future. Preferably, one that doesn’t involve staring directly into people’s souls. 👁️💼✨

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2025-05-07 02:03