Will Saylor Make the Universe’s Biggest Bitcoin Splash? Find Out! 💸🌌

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Michael Saylor, the proudly eccentric co-founder of Strategy Inc., has dropped more hints than a dripping faucet trying to buy your attention—specifically, hints about *another* massive Bitcoin purchase. Because who doesn’t love a billionaire with an appetite for digital gold? 🤑

As reported by the highly reputable U.Today (which is to news as a star is to a flashlight), Strategy announced last week that they splurged a cool $427.1 million on Bitcoin. Yes, you read that right—more zeros than a zombie has brains. 💰

Orange is my Preferred Color

— Michael Saylor (@saylor) June 1, 2025

Whether this cascading pile of digital cash will shake the market like a snow globe in a hurricane remains a thrilling mystery. Usually, Strategy’s Bitcoin adventures are so mild they make a Sunday afternoon nap seem wild by comparison. 😴

Recently, Saylor attracted some fresh criticism—mainly from those who believe anonymous blockchain proof-of-reserves are the security equivalent of a tin foil hat. Saylor, however, prefers to keep his crypto secrets under lock and key, citing security concerns. Because, naturally, security is more important than transparency when you’re holding the world’s digital riches. 🔐

And if that wasn’t enough to keep your crypto curiosity piqued, Saylor also opined that it would get “exponentially harder” to buy Bitcoin. Which sounds suspiciously like a challenge to the universe: “Come on, universe, try me.” 🪐

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2025-06-01 22:29