Ah! Picture, if you will, our beleaguered protagonist, Charles Hoskinson—struggling philosopher, martyr to crypto-ideals—sitting at the edge of some shadowy desk, grappling with the anguish of modern compliance. In a darkened corner, a flickering light bulb trembles as he confides to the world that he—yes, he—turned away from a rendezvous with the government of El Salvador. Legal complications! Geopolitical worries! (MS-13 in the group chat, anyone?) The sort of dilemma that would send lesser men running for a cold compress and stronger drink than innovation could provide. 🥃
The Mysterious Rejection of Paradise Lost
It was on The Shawn Ryan Show (surely the Dostoyevskian crossroads of the digital age) that Hoskinson aired his existential struggle. The Salvadoran administration—the very machine of government!—extended its hand. But, as fate would have it, the proposal split asunder the very instant a “mass airdrop” was suggested, the sort that wouldn’t so much discriminate as scatter riches to both saints and sinners—OFAC-sanctioned ne’er-do-wells included! 🍌
“And here stands Bukele,” quoth Hoskinson, “prepared to bestow Bitcoin from on high.” But pause a moment, gentle reader, for MS-13 sits in the shadows, awaiting their portion. Just a sprinkle of U.S. federal law and—presto!—what was intended as hose of generosity transforms, magically, into a bucket of prosecutorial trouble. “We simply could not, in good conscience (or fear of subpoena), sign the dotted line,” laments our narrator. The Justice Department, that modern-day tribunal of tortured souls, never graced them with its blessing. After a week of high-minded debate and perhaps a little hyperventilation, the verdict was clear: flight, not fight. It was wild, Hoskinson assures us, wild like the mind of an accountant at tax time. 😳
A certain Cory Bates launches this tale into the digital Colosseum of X, summoning titans Max Keiser and Stacy Herbert for judgment: “Well, do you believe?” But silence, icy and complete, is all that answers. Max Keiser, master of invective, has already drawn his sword in the past. Cardano, he declared, is “centralized” and led by a man “his associates allege is a pathological liar.” Bukele’s realm, says Keiser, was allegedly eager to eject this “crackpot loser” with less ceremony than a Dostoyevsky character being exiled to Siberia.
As for substantiation, there is little. The whisper of accusation floats over the years, and Hoskinson—stoic, perhaps weary, perhaps simply above it all—gives no reply. Not until now, anyway, as the wheel of fate brings him once more into the cruel light of public spectacle.
These revelations form just another riddle in the ongoing myth of El Salvador’s Bitcoin saga, a chronicle shot through with maximalist dreams and crypto-orthodoxy. Cardano, with its academic airs and centralized blush, remains the moody outsider at the masked ball where Bitcoin alone gets to dance with the president.
Meanwhile, Cardano itself sits at $0.573, contemplating the meaninglessness of price, life, and Twitter threads in a world gone mad. 💰🤔
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2025-07-08 19:12