When Tariffs Meet Crypto: The Galaxy-Brain Connection You Didn’t Know You Needed 🚀

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Paul Grewal, the Chief Legal Officer of Coinbase (and possibly a time traveler from a dimension where lawyers are comedians), has drawn a hilariously absurd parallel between the Trump Administration’s tariff shenanigans and the SEC’s once unshakable belief that it could regulate crypto assets. “The absurdity of that era grows clearer and clearer even as it recedes into history,” he said, presumably while sipping coffee with a side of existential dread. ☕🌌

Major Questions Doctrine Strikes Back: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Question Everything 🤔

A recent U.S. Federal Appeals Court decision just dismantled several tariffs imposed by President Donald Trump, and suddenly everyone is seeing eerie similarities between that saga and the SEC’s attempts to play gatekeeper for the Wild West of digital assets. It’s like déjà vu but with more acronyms and fewer cowboy hats. 🤠📜

Grewal, who seems to have mastered the art of making legal doctrines sound entertaining, pointed out on social media that the major questions doctrine-a concept so pivotal it might as well have its own theme song-applies not only to Coinbase’s now-defunct case against the SEC but also to how Trump enacted his tariffs. Who knew tariffs and crypto regulation could be soulmates? ❤️💼

The court ruling explains that no president before Trump had ever invoked the International Emergency Economic Powers Act (IEEPA) to impose tariffs. Imagine using an “emergency” law to slap taxes on imports-it’s like declaring war on avocados because they’re too delicious. 🥑💥

Grewal dropped some truth bombs, noting that the court’s reasoning “squarely rejects the Gensler SEC’s ahistorical power grab.” Translation: The SEC tried to pull a fast one, claiming Congress gave them permission to regulate crypto transactions as securities-even when there were no contracts, obligations, or anything resembling actual paperwork. Sneaky move, SEC. 🕵️‍♂️📉

According to Grewal, this whole mess boils down to the same issue: Government agencies trying to stretch their authority like a rubber band until it snaps. He urged lawmakers in both the Senate and House to pass a market structure bill and bring some clarity to the crypto industry. Because honestly, if we don’t get our act together soon, aliens will probably show up and ask why humans are arguing over imaginary internet money. 👽💸

In conclusion, Grewal reminded us all that “the absurdity of that era grows clearer and clearer even as it recedes into history.” Which is a fancy way of saying, “Let’s hope we don’t look back at this and cringe harder than we already do.” 🙈✨

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2025-09-01 14:58