Ah, these stablecoins—those chimerical coins tethered to the noble dollar—now fancy themselves as the darlings of grand payment houses! Recent scribes proclaim their transaction counts have outpaced the mighty Visa itself. Quelle surprise! 🤨💸
Yet, our sagacious sages of commerce furrow their brows, suspecting tricks afoot. Let us unveil the farce behind this swell of numbers, shall we?
Why the Learned Suspect the Stablecoin Spectacle Is Naught but Inflated Hocus-Pocus
Our tale begins with Chamath Palihapitiya, lord of Social Capital, who proclaims on the digital agora ‘X’ that weekly stablecoin transactions have eclipsed the venerable Visa, galloping past $400 billion! He boasts the knights of Visa, Mastercard, and Stripe rally to this new standard-bearer.
By the scrolls of Q4, 2024, stablecoins supposedly racked up $464 billion weekly, whilst Visa languished at $319 billion. Reports whisper of a staggering $13.5 trillion yearly stablecoin procession, heralding the dawn where stablecoins stand taller than Visa’s annual cavalcade.
At first glance, a marvel fit for the stage—stablecoins threaten to remake the world’s coinage! Even Citigroup, the soothsayer of finance, foresees this realm swelling to $3.7 trillion by the year 2030.
But alas, not all toast this sunny prophecy. Some learned men warn this triumph is but a puffed-up jest, unworthy of direct contest with the grounded Visa. They whisper that the numbers are but smoke and mirrors.
Lo! Joe of Maven 11 Capital reveals the magician’s secret: with a mere $100,000 of USDC on the nimble steed Solana, one may conjure the illusion of $136 million in volume—paying in fees less than the price of a loaf of bread!
“For a solitary dollar in fees, witness how the numbers swell beyond reason!” Joe proclaims, filled with mirth.
Solana, swift-footed and light in toll, costs a mere $0.0036 per transaction—a sum so trivial that a mere $3,400 could double the weekly stablecoin cabaret. Aye, manipulation is the game and the scoreboard but a puppet on strings.
Dan Smith, chronicler at Blockworks Research, nods sagely and adds, “With flash loans—those wild loans without collateral that repay in a single breath—one may summon yet more volume, cheaper still, making a mockery of true commerce.”
Flash loans: borrow vast treasure, repay instantly, without true possession—like borrowing the crown jewels for a wink of time, all to inflate those glittering tallies.
Rajiv of Framework Ventures does cut to the chase, calling this stablecoin tally “a metric as useless as a sieve in a rainstorm.” Dan concurs with a solemn nod, warning that such numbers often herald schemes most foul.
Washing, Botting, and Other Sorceries That Undermine Economic Worth
What trickery! The clever arts of wash trading and bot trading—where one’s own hands exchange coin back and forth, creating not commerce but busywork worthy of a jester’s act.
Wash trading: a merry dance where wallets under one crown buy and sell to themselves, pumping up numbers with no coin changing hands in earnest. Bot trading: automa-gicians weaving trades faster than the eye can see, conjuring phantom liquidity or swift arbitrage.
Behold a million-dollar “transaction” that is but a coin paraded from one pocket to another on the same person! No goods, no services, just a hollow spectacle—unlike dear Visa’s charges, which truly buy bread, wine, and tales at the tavern.
And hark! Last year, even Visa’s ledger confessed only 10% of stablecoin trades danced to the tune of reality. Chainalysis uncovered wash trades of $2.57 billion in tokens alone—a carnival of clever deceit on the cryptic stage.
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2025-04-29 11:15