When “gm” Causes a Crypto Storm: SBF’s Social Media Houdini Act!

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In the quiet dawn of a rather curious morning, a single utterance-just the two letters “gm,” an intimate abbreviation of “good morning”-exploded upon the vast expanse of social media, capturing the gaze of 6.5 million souls within but a few hours. Oh, the spectacle! Like a sudden summer storm that startles even the most indifferent passerby.

Yet, as the dust settled, our enraptured audience discovered that this modest greeting did not descend from the lips of Sam Bankman-Fried himself, but rather from a loyal friend wielding the quill in his stead. True, this revelation only added more fuel to the ever-roaring fires of curiosity among the crypto aficionados.

gm

– SBF (@SBF_FTX) September 23, 2025

Meanwhile, our absent hero languishes not in some gilded palace but behind the iron bars of the Federal Correctional Institution on Terminal Island, Los Angeles-a place decidedly less convivial. A 25-year appointment, to be precise, to refine one’s character or at least one’s patience.

Could This Be a Pardon Push?

The innocent “gm” was far from innocent in its reception, inspiring whispers and elaborate theories across the crypto salons. The ever-scheming analyst Conor Grogan remarked that this might be the opening gambit in a grand PR campaign to procure clemency for Sam. A pardon, like a golden ticket tucked inside a battered chocolate bar, would surely taste sweet.

Indeed, the campaigners in this theatre are not few: family, friends, and fervent supporters rally behind their cause-hoping that the echoes of mercy might find ears in the chambers of the President, who, as history gently reminds us, has shown leniency to the likes of Ross Ulbricht, the Silk Road architect. One wonders, does clemency come with a librettist and orchestra?

From Meme Jabs to Harsh Criticism

The crypto population responded with the usual panoply: humor sharp enough to slice through steel, and invective as bitter as black coffee undiluted. Arthur Hayes, ever the wit, tossed a casual “Wen memecoin?” into the mêlée-a phrase dripping with the impatience of those who have watched too many pumps and dumps waltz through their portfolios like unwelcome guests.

Wen memecoin?

– Arthur Hayes (@CryptoHayes) September 24, 2025

Then there was ZachXBT, an investigator of the blockchain underworld, who-in a post now vanished like a ghost at dawn-cursed SBF’s deeds as grievous sins, even denying him the common mercies of human rights. Such a view! One might reply, “Well, isn’t that a bit dramatic, old chap?” but in the world of crypto, drama is the currency more valuable than Bitcoin.

FTT Soars Over 50%

And lo, as if stirred by some invisible puppeteer, the FTT token leapt over 50%, reaching heights near $1.20 in mere moments, only to see its ambitions tempered and retraced-a flame bright but fleeting. SBF’s account remains a curious enigma, shared intermittently with cryptic musings authored by a faithful friend, keeping the faithful forever guessing, much like a novel without its final chapter.

FTX Payouts Resume

All this excitement flows into the practical realm where FTX moves onward in its bankruptcy odyssey. Starting September 30, creditors shall receive a princely $1.6 billion via BitGo, Kraken, and Payoneer, deposited within three business days-as swift as a Cossack’s horse.

United States patrons will enjoy 40% of their claims, summing a hefty 95% in recoveries-surely a consolation for many bruised wallets. International “dotcom” users share a modest 6% lift, tipping payouts to 78%. Those with unsecured or loan claims find 24%, while convenience claims, curiously generous, surpass face value at 120%! In totality, a grand sum exceeding $6 billion has returned, perhaps to soothe the memories of shattered dreams.

Our protagonist was found guilty on seven counts of felony, including fraud, conspiracy, and money laundering-charges enough to fill many a heavy ledger. His appeal approaches on November 4, two years after the great FTX collapse-like a sequel nobody eagerly awaits but all must endure. 🎭

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2025-09-24 13:38