When $223M Vanishes: Cetus’ Hilarious Attempt to Save Face! 😂💸

by

Ah, dear reader, gather ’round as we delve into the curious case of Cetus Protocol, a veritable bastion of digital commerce upon the Sui blockchain, which recently found itself in a most unfortunate predicament—a hack of $223 million! Yes, you heard it right, a sum so grand it could make even the most stoic of souls weep. In a twist of fate that would make even the most seasoned of gamblers chuckle, the firm has now relocated a mere $162 million of the frozen funds to a secure digital wallet. One must wonder, is this a rescue operation or merely a theatrical performance? 🎭

📢 Progress Update

In a move that could only be described as a masterclass in crisis management, the funds, once quarantined like a pariah at a social gathering, have now been entrusted to a multisig trust wallet—an arrangement so secure it could make Fort Knox blush. This wallet is under the watchful eyes of three entities: Cetus, the Sui Foundation, and OtterSec, a company that, one hopes, has more than just a cute name to offer in terms of safety.

TXIDs: …

— Cetus🐳 (@CetusProtocol) May 31, 2025

Ah, the Sui community, bless their hearts, voted to approve this grand scheme, ensuring that the money remains safe until it can be returned to the unfortunate souls who lost it. A noble endeavor, indeed! One can only imagine the discussions that took place—“Shall we trust them again?” “Why not? What’s the worst that could happen?”

But wait, there’s more! The firm has promised to update its system (smart contracts, they call them), fix the data for its trading pools, and prepare for a grand reopening. It’s like a restaurant that burned down but is now offering a “new and improved” menu. One can only hope the food is better this time around!

Cetus, in its infinite wisdom, has vowed to work tirelessly to ensure transparency and safety. They aim to regain the trust of their users, which, let’s be honest, is akin to a cat trying to win back the affection of a dog. They also plan to create a special system to reimburse those who had funds in the platform, ensuring that everyone is treated equally and fairly—because nothing says “trust us” quite like a promise of equality in a world rife with inequality.

On the 2nd of June, 2025, the firm has scheduled a public talk on Twitter Spaces. Yes, dear reader, they are taking to the digital stage to keep their users engaged. They will discuss the recent hack, share updates on their recovery, and answer questions—because nothing soothes the soul like a good Q&A session after a financial disaster!

While the exact time remains a mystery, one can only hope they will not keep their audience waiting too long. This initiative, a beacon of openness during turbulent times, highlights their desire to be forthright with their community. The Sui community, bless their supportive hearts, stands by them, perhaps out of sheer curiosity or perhaps out of a sense of camaraderie in this chaotic digital age.

This entire saga serves as a poignant reminder of how decentralized platforms like Cetus can navigate the treacherous waters of hacks by banding together. With the assistance of the Sui Foundation and OtterSec, Cetus is not merely attempting to resolve the issue but is striving to emerge stronger and more resilient. Perhaps this tale will serve as a cautionary example for other DeFi platforms on how to weather the storm of crises—if only they could learn to laugh at themselves along the way!

Read More

2025-05-31 13:57