Unfreezing Crypto Drama: WazirX Users, Hacked Coins, & a 40-Page Affidavit Storm

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  • WazirX users, herded like sheep, now sue the exchange over frozen fortunes—all while demanding the mystical arts of transparency and a Lazarus-style return of their assets 🤔
  • Romy Johnson, not to be left out, flings a 40-page affidavit square at the restructuring wizardry 🎩📑

Picture it: WazirX, moonlit and feverish, again sprawled in the crosshairs of the law. This time, it’s not regulators, but the users, those battered wanderers of the crypto steppe, squaring up for battle in the Singaporean courts. The very walls of Zettai, WazirX’s local alter ego, echo with the wailing accusations of crypto and fiat balances laid to rest, frozen for crimes unknown.

Here, fortunes undisturbed and hackless—Bitcoin [BTC], XRP, Tron [TRX], Binance [BNB], Tether [USDT], and fiat—find themselves swept into bureaucratic limbo. Outrage boils over, hot enough to melt any cold wallet.

Romy Johnson’s Affidavit: The Revolt of Pages

Under a fluorescent lamp somewhere in Singapore, Romy Johnson births a 40-page testament—a veritable epic!—challenging not only the fabled restructuring but the idea that user trust assets can be tossed into corporate liability stew like yesterday’s borscht.

Behold: By reclustering the pure (unhacked tokens), the liquid (INR equivalents), and the tainted (hacked ETH and ERC-20) into a single cauldron, Zettai stands accused of fencing off the unaffected, offering them nothing for their patience but the aroma of burned promises. Category A, Category B, Category C—was there ever such a tragic taxonomy?

Even the “hack” raises an eyebrow. Blockchain trails meander suspiciously through Zettai’s own multisig vaults, guarded by multiple keys but apparently no memory. The only thing missing so far: actual evidence of an outsider hacking. Suspense enough to make Dostoevsky jealous.

What do the Exiles Want, Really?

Frustrated WazirX braves bang their spoons, demanding—what else—transparency! Who moved the money? Why is it gone? Is there a ledger, or only riddles? Calls for audits mingle with fingers pointed squarely at those shadowy authorizers. Audit, they cry! Audit, or we’ll audit you in court!

The esteemed High Court, no stranger to dodgeball, has spiked at least one restructuring proposal, offended by hints of offshore shell company shenanigans (because we all know: nothing says “innocent” like a shell company).

Romy’s latest affidavit stirs not just the pot but the whole stove. The real question: Does crypto, held in trust through the storm of bankruptcy, belong to users—or to the company’s pocketbook? One suspects the answer will not arrive before Christmas.

The gavel will fall again on July 15, 2025. On X (where else?), WazirX paints the ongoing legal war like a soap opera cliffhanger. Tune in next season!

The Chorus: Crypto Community, Divided and Dramatic 🗣️

Like a Greek chorus in beanies and hoodies, the crypto crowd weighs in. Johnson’s last-minute affidavit—delivered with all the fanfare of a midnight telegram—demands the court first thaw out the untouched ice, and save the rest for another drama, leaving nearly half the users to stew in cold storage for yet another year.

Critics warn this creates a two-class system: Fast-lane users and slow-lane users, with the latter on a scenic detour to financial recovery. If only HODLing paid interest.

“Justice delayed is justice denied.” Or as they say on Crypto Twitter: “Wen refund, ser?”

Of course, not everyone wields the pitchfork. Some rally to WazirX’s cause—perhaps hoping for an airdrop of justice, or perhaps just enjoying the spectacle.

Ah, July 2024: the month WazirX parted with $230 million in digital treasure thanks to hackers with nimble fingers (and possibly insider knowledge). Since then, the exchange clings to its last shreds of public trust like a poet to his manuscripts.

The Singapore court saga stirs every fear of lost funds and missing oversight. Can trust ever return? Or must hope, like fiat, simply be frozen?

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2025-07-08 08:13