E.J. Antoni, having received the golden ticket from U.S. President Donald Trump himself, is now poised to take the reins at the venerable Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS). The Heritage Foundation’s Chief Economist, Antoni has wasted no time in announcing his master plan: to halt the BLS’s monthly jobs report-at least until someone gives the numbers a jolly good scrubbing. 🚿
Antoni, in a Fox pow-wow, dropped the bombshell mere days after Trump gave former BLS Commissioner Erika McEntarfer the old heave-ho-apparently, her tenure lasted about as long as a snowball in July. “All things considered,” Antoni mused, “it’s better the BLS keep its lips zipped on those monthly reports, unless they fancy being corrected in public!” Instead, he suggests publishing quarterly data, which, like a vintage port, may be less sprightly but has more substance and fewer surprises. 🍷
This Northern Illinois University Economics PhD, resplendent with academic credentials, hasn’t exactly been the BLS’s biggest cheerleader. In fact, Antoni has long dismissed much of their data as “phony baloney”-which, coming from an economist, may be the deepest cut of all. One imagines Wall Street and D.C. decision-makers now clutching their pearls, wondering if the next jobs report will be delivered by carrier pigeons or semaphore. 🕊️🏦
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2025-08-13 01:36