This British Crypto Scam? It’s Like Grandpa Tried Hacking the Matrix!

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So get this: a 69-year-old guy in the UK, Timothy Barnes-sounds like the name of someone who’d knit sweaters, right?-claims he’s sitting on $4.7 million in crypto assets to pay back people he scammed. Spoiler alert: he was full of it. Completely made-up. Shocker! 🙄

Timothy ended up pleading guilty to 34 charges-fraud, theft, you name it. It’s like he took all the crimes from a “How to Scam for Dummies” manual and checked every box. And this whole mess just proves crypto’s changing people… mainly into, well, better con artists.

Crypto Scams in the UK

Every day there’s another crypto scam, and these scam artists? They’re evolving like Pokémon nobody asked for. The old-school fakery is getting a digital facelift. Take Barnes, the UK’s very own crypto crook, who swiped $2.6 million using some classic tricks-phony bank calls, fake tax bills, mortgage threats. Real charming guy.

June reports say Barnes was into crypto, but don’t imagine him hacking in a hoodie. No, this guy used digital wallets to hide his loot and throw the court a curveball-because nothing says “innocent” like pretending you lost millions in crypto, right? 😅

A Fake Wallet Defense?

Right before sentencing, Barnes whipped out this claim: “Hey, I’ve got $4.7 million in crypto wallets to pay everyone back!” The courts, being the skeptical bunch they are, looked closer and found-surprise, surprise-no such wallets. It’s like he thought the judge would take a look at some mystery digital “pot of gold” without verifying.

Judge Andrew Lockhart didn’t buy it: “No phone number, no account number… maybe it’s forged? Could be an aggravating factor.” That’s judge-speak for: “Nice try, buddy.”

Sadly for Barnes, this crypto fantasy didn’t do much good. He still pled guilty to 34 offenses. But hey, at least he tried to weave crypto into his old-school grift. It’s like watching someone try to add holograms to a flip phone.

Most of Barnes’ scams were the usual “steal charity money” routine-he nabbed $277,622 from a charity that promotes motorbike heritage. Because nothing says “trustworthy” like robbing a charity… especially one about motorcycles!

So yeah, this isn’t your high-tech cyber thief. This is Grandpa Scam updating his act with a little blockchain flair. Crypto’s changed the world alright-sometimes it just means the grifters have new toys to mess with. And who knows? Maybe next crime report we read will be about a 90-year-old using NFTs to launder money.

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2025-09-24 20:48