The US Military Joins Forces with Bitcoin: A Bold Move Against China!

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Ah, the United States! The land of opportunity, dreams, and now, Bitcoin reserves? Yes, it’s true. Senator Cynthia Lummis, a lady from Wyoming with a flair for the dramatic, has announced a new twist in the tale of geopolitical intrigue: the US military has decided that Bitcoin is the future of strategic defense. Not just any Bitcoin, mind you, but a “Strategic Bitcoin Reserve” (SBR), one that promises to throw a digital wrench into the plans of China’s economic might. Oh, how things have changed!

Bitcoin Reserve Gains Military Support: Who Saw This Coming?

“There are generals, especially in Southeast Asia, who are now convinced that hoarding Bitcoin is as essential as securing military bases,” Lummis told Bloomberg Television with a straight face. And why? Because, according to the senator, “we are in an economic war with China.” A war where the bullets are made of bits and bytes! Just when you thought things couldn’t get any stranger, here we are, preparing to stockpile Bitcoin to battle the rising dragon of the East. Truly, the world is full of surprises.

Senator Lummis, who apparently dreams in numbers, boldly proclaimed her grand plan: to acquire 1 million BTC, about 5% of all Bitcoin in existence, and hold it for a full twenty years. And for what purpose, you ask? “To illuminate half of the US debt,” she said with the same enthusiasm one might have when explaining a child’s science project. Why not, right? It’s not like it could go horribly wrong. Her first move? Using Bitcoin already in federal custody, naturally. Just grab the funds sitting around from asset forfeitures, and voilà! One strategic Bitcoin reserve, coming right up!

The wheels were set in motion a couple of months ago when President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, signed Executive Order 14233. This order instructed agencies to transfer all forfeited BTC to Treasury-run cold wallets. Now that’s one way to hide your treasure. The US Congress, ever the curious creature, is now pondering legislation to turn this idea into law. Apparently, they’re still figuring out the finer details, such as “how to make Bitcoin a part of official policy” without breaking the bank or angering the taxpayers. But don’t hold your breath; it looks like it’s going to be a while before any new laws materialize.

Lummis was quick to put any fears to rest about displacing precious gold reserves. “I haven’t proposed selling our gold,” she reassured the public, probably while patting the gold certificates in her office for good luck. Instead, she plans to re-value the 1934 gold certificates at current market prices and then, somehow, convert this new-found wealth into Bitcoin. A brilliant scheme, right? As simple as swapping a few coins in a piggy bank!

When asked about JPMorgan’s chief Jamie Dimon, who would rather see Washington stockpile “bullets, drones, and rare earths,” Lummis fired back with a confident grin: “Even the United States military disagrees with him.” Yes, of course! It’s all about the balance of guns and Bitcoin. Perhaps the next world war will be fought with a combination of gold, drones, and digital wallets. You never know.

And one last thing—Lummis insists that the reserve should only be Bitcoin. No, no diversifying into stablecoins or those fancy proof-of-stake assets. It’s proof-of-work all the way. Because if you’re going to fight an economic war, you might as well do it the old-fashioned way, with a proof of work.

At this moment, the price of Bitcoin hovers around $105,494. Certainly, that’s a number worth paying attention to, especially when the fate of the free world (and possibly the US debt) hangs in the balance.

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2025-06-04 18:30