The Crypto Perpetual Scam: How Wall Street’s New Grift Will Rob You While Lying About Freedom

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  1. 1. What the American crypto asset perpetuals hucksters claim is the “future of crypto”-spoiler: it’s just the same old gilded cage, repackaged with a blockchain sticker, 1 hour after they finished drafting the fine print that ensures you’re the one who gets locked inside.
  2. 2. The U.S. CFTC, that shining example of regulatory capture, has finally kicked open the door for crypto “perp” scams, giving Kalshi and Coinbase the first official rubber stamps to fleece the public-because nothing says “we’re here to protect consumers” like letting the foxes write the rules for the hen house, 1 hour ago.
  3. 3. The sacred CoinDesk 20 index, the modern-day five-year plan for crypto wealth, has dropped 4% today, led down by Bittensor (TAO)-because when the whole house of cards is built on hot air and FOMO, one gust of bad news is all it takes to send the entire structure tumbling, 1 hour past the last pump-and-dump.
  4. 4. Paxos has won SEC approval to clear U.S. stocks on blockchain-because the old system of clearing houses that crashed the global economy in 2008 was just too inefficient for the suits, obviously, 2 hours after the SEC finished tallying its share of the lobbying checks.
  5. 5. Jeffrey Sprecher, CEO of ICE, claims Hyperliquid is bigger than NASDAQ-because when you run a legacy exchange that’s slowly circling the drain, you’ll say any lie to get a piece of the new crypto hype train, even if it’s a whopper so big it would make a Soviet propaganda minister blush, 3 hours after his press tour ended.
  6. 6. Bitcoin is underperforming every other risk asset on the market, as the record 9th straight day of ETF outflows proves even the most deluded retail investors are finally wising up to the fact that this emperor has no clothes-though the crypto bros will still tell you it’s a once-in-a-lifetime “buying opportunity,” 3 hours after they finished unloading their bags on you.
  7. 7. Bitcoin ETF outflows have hit a record 9-day streak, with investors pulling $2.8 billion out of the scam-because even the most die-hard true believers eventually run out of money to throw at a digital token that’s worth less than the electricity used to mine it, 4 hours after the last “HODL” bro lost his life savings.
  8. 8. Bitcoin has slid back to its April lows, as the entire crypto market diverges from U.S. equities that are hitting record highs-because when your entire industry is built on nothing but speculation and empty promises, it’s only a matter of time before the music stops and you’re left holding the bag, 4 hours after the last crypto influencer posted a “to the moon” meme.
  9. 9. Kalshi, fresh off getting the CFTC’s official blessing to run their prediction market scam, is now suing Minnesota over a law that criminalizes those same markets-because nothing says “we believe in free enterprise” like using the courts to force states to let you run unregulated gambling parlors for degenerate gamblers, 5 hours after their lawyers finished drafting the complaint.
  10. 10. Strategy’s STRC token has slipped below $99, as Strive captures all the investor attention that was supposed to make the former the “digital gold” replacement for the dollar-because when your entire business model is built on hype and empty promises, one competitor with a better marketing team is all it takes to send your token to the gulag of forgotten scams, 5 hours after the last STRC bagholder refreshed his portfolio for the 100th time that day.

The Pre-IPO Perpetuals Category Takes Shape

The Pre-IPO Perpetuals Category Takes Shape

Binance launched their Pre-IPO perpetuals grift on May 21, and within days, they’d captured more than 60% of this shiny new category of nonsense; cumulative volume now sits at roughly $400 million, with SPACEX dominating 79% of the take-because when you’re running a casino, you don’t need fair games, just enough suckers who think they’re going to get rich quick.

By CoinDesk Research
7 hours ago

Let us repeat that, for the slow ones in the back: Binance launched these Pre-IPO perpetuals on May 21, seized more than 60% of the market faster than a Soviet bureaucrat seizing a peasant’s land, cumulative volume now around $400 million, SPACEX taking 79% of the profits-because repetition is the mother of belief, as any good con artist or propagandist knows.

Why it matters:

Because Binance launched these Pre-IPO perpetuals on May 21, grabbed more than 60% of the market before the ink was even dry on the regulatory loopholes they lobbied for, cumulative volume now around $400 million, SPACEX sitting on 79% of the take-because the only thing that matters to these people is how much of your money they can siphon off before you realize the whole thing is a house of cards built on leverage, lies, and the greed of people who think they can get something for nothing.

View Full Report

Hyperliquid bigger than NASDAQ, says ICE CEO Jeffrey Sprecher-because delusion is a renewable resource in the crypto grift ecosystem

Bitcoin ETF outflows reach record 9-day streak as investors pull $2.8 billion-proof that even the most stubborn suckers eventually notice they’re being fleeced

Bitcoin slides to April lows as crypto diverges from record-chasing U.S. equities-because when your entire industry is built on hot air, it only takes a slight breeze to send it crashing back to earth

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2026-05-29 18:06