The Comedic Ordeal of Robert Kiyosaki: Chasing Bitcoin Before Everyone Else Regrets It 😂

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Robert Kiyosaki, never one to shy away from self-parody or speculative financial melodrama, is now harvesting bitcoin the way a peasant in the provinces might gather potatoes after learning the ruble’s been replaced by Monopoly money.

Investment Fever Dreams: Kiyosaki Chases Digital Ghosts 💸

There’s Robert Kiyosaki, the man who authored Rich Dad Poor Dad—that famous treatise read in more living rooms than Tolstoy—firing off proclamations on X (the social platform formerly known as Twitter, and soon, no doubt, just a symbol nobody can pronounce). His book sits on shelves around the world, nestled between dusty cookbooks and half-read Dostoevsky.

“Losers keep warning of a bitcoin crash. They want to frighten off the speculators. I hope bitcoin crashes. I will only buy more.”

One imagines the author, writing by candlelight as the dollar slips quietly under the floorboards, muttering about fiat currencies as if they were a suspicious stew served at a distant relative’s house. Gold, silver, bitcoin—he collects financial assets the way some old uncles hoard WWII memorabilia: with passionate distrust for everything modern (yet somehow, paradoxically, holding great faith in an asset invented on the internet).

Kiyosaki’s vision for America apparently includes George Washington, powder wig slightly askew, logging into Coinbase—because nothing says “Founding Father” like laser eyes and a crypto wallet.

In his own words, Kiyosaki practically dares the fates:

“Bought another bitcoin today. I realize I could be wrong and a sucker. Would not be the first time in my life I was played for a fool. Yet I believe bitcoin will one day soon… be $1 million a coin. If I am a sucker, I’d rather be a sucker than a loser if bitcoin does go to $1 million.”

Nothing like facing existential dread with a wallet and a wink. One can almost see the man raising a toast to regret: “For every dollar lost, a lesson earned!”

He traces his own investing pilgrimage: a road lined with questionable advice disguised as wisdom, “saving” gold, silver, and now bitcoin—while warning that whoever still saves dollars is basically playing Russian roulette with all chambers loaded.

Now, the grand confessional:

“What is expensive? I was late into bitcoin. I waited too long… which may have been a good thing. I waited because I did not understand today’s modern money. So I bought my first bitcoin at $6,000 a coin. It was expensive. Today, I wish I had bought more at $6,000.”

To which the muses of fate reply: “Robert, just wait until you see dogecoin.”

Pressed onward by the haunted whisper of FOMO, he proclaims:

“Today bitcoin is $107,000 a coin. Again, my mind says, ‘That’s expensive,’ but I am buying more. Why? Because if and when bitcoin sells for $1 million a coin, I will once again be saying, ‘I wish I had bought more.’”

The tragicomedy of life: always a satoshi short. “Even if you can afford only one Satoshi today… five years from now you will be saying, ‘I wish I had bought more.’” Kiyosaki, lost in existential dread, wonders, “Will bitcoin hit $1 million a coin? I do not know. All I know is that ‘I will wish I had bought more at $107,000. At $107,000, bitcoin was priceless.’”

If there’s humor, it lies in his tireless crusade against “fake money.” Kiyosaki’s rich dad apparently once said, “Savers are losers.” He doesn’t save rubles, dollars, or potatoes. He saves wistful yearning and vivid anecdotes, warning that the global con game of fiat money is about to reach its Chekhovian third act—complete with the Federal Reserve, banks, and government skulking about behind the curtains.

Everyone’s waiting for the system to break. In the meantime, Kiyosaki keeps adding one more coin to the samovar. Tea, anyone? 🚀

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2025-07-06 03:58