Tether’s 99% Profit Margin: A Financial Masterpiece or Just Greedy?

by

Tether, the El Salvador-based stablecoin juggernaut, is aiming to pocket $15 billion this year. Because why not? They’ve already invented 99% profit margins-next stop, time travel. 🕰️💸

On October 24th, the crypto world collectively gasped when Tether dropped its “year-to-date profit expectations.” Cue the sound of ETF analyst Nate Geraci whispering, “Insane,” while quietly checking his bank account to see if he can afford a yacht yet. 🚢

Tether’s ‘Insane’ 99% Margin: Just a Tuesday for Them?

With a 99% profit margin and $183 billion USDT in circulation, Tether is basically the Elon Musk of stablecoins-minus the existential tweets. Geraci, who’s seen it all, called these numbers “insane.” Translation: “Are you mad? This is crypto, not a monopoly board game.” 🎲

CEO Paolo Ardoino spilled the tea: companies are throwing money at Tether like it’s a Black Friday sale. SoftBank and Ark? Please. They’re just here for the free schwag and a 3% equity stake. Tether’s asking for $20 billion, though, so maybe they’ll let you buy a sandwich for $500. 🥪💰

500 Million Users? Tether’s Just Getting Started

Breaking 500 million users? Tether calls it “financial inclusion.” We call it needing a bigger couch. But hey, at least they’re not using your grandma’s browser. 🖥️👵

And just when you thought they couldn’t get more attention, Tether launched a U.S.-based stablecoin. Led by ex-White House bigwig Bo Hines, it’s like the crypto version of a political drama-minus the subtlety. 🎬

So, will Tether hit $15 billion? Probably. Will they reinvent the wheel again? Definitely. But let’s be real: they’re just here to make us all feel poor. 💸😂

Read More

2025-10-25 00:16