Swiss Bankers & Bitcoin: A Match Made in Financial Heaven (Or Hell?)

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If you’ve ever wondered what happens when Swiss bankers meet Bitcoin, here’s the answer-$34.6 million worth of chaos, or as they call it, “strategic funding.”

On the 5th of November, 2025, in Zurich, a city where clocks tick slower than a snail on a Sunday stroll, Future Holdings AG announced they’d raised enough cash to make a miser weep. $34.6 million (or CHF 28 million, for those who still use real money) from Fulgur Ventures, Nakamoto, and TOBAM-names that sound like they belong in a spy movie. Their grand plan? To build Europe’s premier Bitcoin Treasury Company. Because nothing says “trust” like a CEO named Sebastien Hess, a Chairman named Richard Byworth (because “Byworth” sounds like it should be a brand of socks), and Adam Back, who’s probably back in Bitcoin land doing wizard stuff.

With this treasure trove of cash, Future Holdings will allegedly fund “treasury accumulation” (read: hoarding Bitcoin like Scrooge McDuck), build wallets so secure even Switzerland’s glaciers would envy them, and churn out research so dense it could sink a ship. They’ll also advise institutions on how to play with Bitcoin without blowing up their balance sheets. Marc Syz, a name that rhymes with “sizzle,” will wax poetic about Switzerland’s financial strengths while planning a Bitcoin forum in 2026. Because nothing says “relevance” like a conference that’s two years away.

🧭 FAQs

• How much did Future raise, and where was this joyous occasion celebrated? CHF 28 million, announced in Zurich on 5 November 2025. Because nothing says “global reach” like staying in one city.
• Who anchored this funding round? A who’s who of venture capital royalty? Fulgur Ventures, Nakamoto, and TOBAM-names that sound important, even if they don’t spell “Bitcoin.”
• What services does Future offer? Custody, research, and a side of institutional advice? Yes, and they’ll even let you store your bitcoin in a vault that’s probably climate-controlled and staffed by robots.
• Who leads this merry band of financial adventurers? Sebastien Hess (CEO), Richard Byworth (Chairman), and Adam Back (co-founder). Together, they’re the Swiss Army knife of Bitcoin finance-sharp, precise, and slightly confusing.

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2025-11-06 15:23