Strive’s Bold Move: From Ordinary Asset Manager to Bitcoin Baron—Is the World Ready? 🚀

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What one must know (lest one be left out in the cold):

  • Tidings from the land of finance: Strive will entwine fates with NASDAQ-listed Asset Entities, giving birth to a grandiose public Bitcoin Treasury Company. Whether this is progress or folly—who can say? 🤔
  • The newborn entity aspires to amass a hoard of Bitcoin worth up to $1 billion, courtesy of equity and debt. Because who hasn’t dreamt of such things on a lonely winter’s evening?
  • Stock-for-Bitcoin swaps, tax-free by Section 351, are to be extended to fortunate “accredited investors”. The peasants must content themselves with rumor and envy. 🍞📉

On a Wednesday—one of those days when fortunes are made and lost in the blink of an eye—Asset Entities (ASST) soared a wild 194%. What prompted such vertigo? Merely the announcement that Strive Asset Management, with the steely resolve of a Tolstoyan general, was to unite with this NASDAQ-listed flame, and so step onto the stage as a public Bitcoin (BTC) Treasury Company. Naturally, the market responded much like a startled horse—bolting for the heavens.

The deal itself, a reverse merger—because finance must always work in mysterious ways—will leave the joint creature with Strive’s name emblazoned on the NASDAQ. Their hope? To pile up a mountain of Bitcoin, using strategies so novel and ingenious that even the most earnest shareholder might pause and wonder whether to laugh or weep. (Or both.)

Particularly daring: Strive offers to swap equity for Bitcoin, making use of the cryptic Section 351—so that the well-heeled may trade their appreciating assets for stock and escape the taxman, at least by official decree. All this will occur at the company’s transaction price—a magnanimous gesture, no doubt, toward those holding seats at the table.

Atop this castle of ambition sits Matt Cole, erstwhile sovereign of a $70 billion fixed income portfolio. He has declared that the goal is not merely to keep pace with Bitcoin but to chase it down and overtake it, as if it were a runaway carriage on the snowy steppes. His strategies? Acquire languishing companies flush with cash, unleash leverage upon the land, and dabble in structured products to shield unwary investors from the wolves of risk. Fear not, gentle reader; what could possibly go awry? 😏

With schemes grand as the Moscow evenings, the company seeks to rouse $1 billion in fresh capital after the great merging. They’ll accomplish this via a “shelf registration”—a phrase that likely means something to those who read dense tomes of regulation for pleasure—and use the resulting bounty to buy yet more Bitcoin.

Strive, still in its youthful spring (birthed in 2022), already herds some $2 billion and has managed to turn heads by railing against ESG mandates. This merger, they insist, is merely the next chapter in their quest to thrust Bitcoin into the very heart of corporate treasuries; and, for good measure, to encourage all companies within their funds to follow suit. Surely, nothing could be more Russian than a crusade with such audacious scope—with or without a Bitcoin balalaika. 🪕

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2025-05-07 22:39