Strive’s Bitcoin Bonanza: A Tale of Wit, Wealth, and Whimsical Wins

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In a spectacle of shareholder approval that rivals the approval of a particularly indulgent duchess at a tea party, Strive has secured its crown to acquire Semler Scientific-an enterprise as obsessed with Bitcoin as a cat is with chasing shadows. With this conquest, they’re amassing not just a treasure trove, but a veritable digital empire-because nothing says “classy investment” quite like a hoard of 12,797.9 Bitcoin, more than some countries’ reserves. 💸🚀

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Summary of the Financial Circus

  • Shareholders, ever the enthusiastic applause crew, approved the grand all-stock affair to annex Semler Scientific and its Bitcoin battalion.
  • A modest 5,048 BTC join the ranks, elevating their collective hoard to a staggering 12,797.9 BTC-truly a testament to investor patience or perhaps a love of digital shiny objects.
  • This audacious move propels Strive into the elitist club of public companies flaunting a Bitcoin treasury-because size does matter, especially in digital matters.

A quiet triumph ensued as shareholders, possibly tired of the usual chaos, decided that more Bitcoin was the answer. 💤💰

Shareholders Say Yes to Digital Dreams

On January 13th, history was made-or at least mildly noted-as the shareholders of Semler Scientific nodded their approval to the all-stock merger. The deal will transfer over 5,000 Bitcoin, transforming Strive from mere corporate entity to a veritable fortress of cryptocurrency. An enterprise so dedicated, it may forget to pay taxes, but undoubtedly not to hold Bitcoin.

Meanwhile, in a move that screams “Look at me, I’m serious about Bitcoin,” Strive added 123 Bitcoin to its own dusty ledger (at approximately $91,561 per coin, because who needs a house when you have digital gold?). This initial purchase alone cost a cool $11.3 million, proving that in the world of crypto, vanity and investment often dance cheek to cheek.

Plans Designed to Confound and Confuse

Post-merger, the master plan is to monetize Semler Scientific’s healthcare ventures within a year,, leaving the company’s focus laser-sharp on Bitcoin-because why diversify when you can double down on digital currency? 🧙‍♂️

Strive is also contemplating the retirement of obligations-$100 million convertible notes and a $20 million Coinbase loan-suggesting a sophisticated game of financial chess. Instead of traditional leverage, they prefer preferred equity, because plain old debt is passé.

In a move only an overachieving board could love, they’ve approved a reverse stock split-making the shares look fatter and more attractive to big institutional eyes. After all, in the world of high finance, size does matter, especially when it comes to share prices.

With Eric Semler potentially joining the board, the tie between Semler Scientific and Strive grows tighter-like a really bad Instagram couple. As the company continues to position itself as the ultimate Bitcoin treasury playground, one can only wonder if they’re secretly plotting to buy the entire universe of digital assets, one satoshi at a time. 🤡🚀

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2026-01-14 05:56