Strive Buys Bitcoin, Avoids Collapse (Just Barely)

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Markets

What to know:

  • Strive added 179 bitcoin to its collection, bringing the grand total to 13,311 BTC. At current prices, that’s enough to buy a small island-or rent one for a week and then some.
  • The company also raised the dividend on SATA preferred stock to 12.75%, because who doesn’t love a good numbers game? They also spent $50 million on STRC, which yields 11.5%. It’s like financial Tetris: stacking returns while hoping the floor doesn’t collapse.
  • ASST had a modest day, probably sipping tea and pretending it’s not worried about the BTC rollercoaster.

Roughed-up bitcoin treasury company Strive (ASST) made a series of “strategic” moves on Wednesday that would make a magician blush. The company bought 179 more bitcoin, bringing its hoard to 13,311 BTC-worth roughly what a moderately famous rock band might charge for a reunion tour.1

Strive also jacked up the dividend on SATA by 25 basis points to 12.75%. SATA rose 1.4%, but still trades at $96.22, which is charmingly optimistic if you ignore the fact that optimism is now a liability.

In a bold move that could either be genius or a cry for help, the company spent $50 million on Strategy’s STRC preferred stock, which yields 11.5%. One wonders if this was a calculated risk or a desperate attempt to out-spend the competition before someone notices the math doesn’t quite add up.2

Among the hordes of companies that sprang up in 2025 to mimic Michael Saylor’s Strategy, Strive has been a bit of a black sheep. It lost over 90% of its value since its 2025 peak and recently had to perform a 1:20 reverse stock split to avoid being kicked out of the stock market for poor behavior.3

ASST rose 2.2% early Wednesday as bitcoin flirted with $70,000. One can only assume the market is playing a long con with investors, and we’re all just pawns in a game of financial chess that nobody knows the rules to.

1 Assuming the island doesn’t demand rent in BTC, which would complicate things.

2 Or a very expensive way to say, “We’re not panicking… much.”

3 A reverse stock split is like telling your guests you’ve redecorated the house-except the house is on fire and you’re not telling them.

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2026-03-11 17:16