Strategy’s Bitcoin Tango: Hedge Funds Lead the Downfall Waltz 🕺💃

Once a flamboyant maestro conducting Bitcoin’s symphonic swings, Strategy now stumbles like a drunkard at a tightrope convention, as hedge funds waltz in with piranha-like finesse and its erstwhile “largest shareholder” tiptoes away, clutching a 10% trim like a guilty secret. 🎩🪞

“Buy the dip!” Yet hedge funds, those charmingly predictable beasts, rewrite the script. Volatility? Gone feral. Conviction? Evaporated like morning dew on a crypto exchange. ☀️

Bitcoin Treasuries: The Belle of the Ball Becomes a Wallflower

10x Research’s autopsy reveals Strategy’s 13% nosedive since July-a mere flesh wound compared to Metaplanet’s 37% swan dive 🦢🩰. Bitcoin’s volatility, once a disco inferno, now flickers like a dying firefly at a crypto picnic. 🔥➡️🔦

Investors, craving fresher thrills, flee to Ethereum’s kaleidoscopic carnival and IPO circuses. Crypto’s new paramours shimmer with “potential” (read: speculation) and Ethereum’s 🌀💸 allure. 10x Research smirks: “Told you so!” (July 19th, for the record).

So, dear investor: Shall the pilgrims of profit await the $360 sigil like a medieval relic 🧰, or court the fickle goddess of “market conditions”? The floor is yours-or is it? 🎭

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2025-08-18 13:29