Stocks, Sass, and Surprises: A Goldman Sachs Guru’s Glorious Gamble 🎲📈

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Ah, the world according to Goldman Sachs’ Anshul Sehgal—a man who looks at the global economic stage and sees not chaos, but a perfectly choreographed musical number. And darling, he’s tap-dancing straight into the stock market with bells on. 🎩✨

As the global co-head of fixed income, currency, and commodities (a title so long it needs its own PR team), Sehgal has declared himself “definitely long stocks.” Because why wouldn’t you be? The earnings reports are practically waltzing in with “blockbuster good” news, and AI is apparently doing everything short of making him a cup of Earl Grey. ☕🤖

“You look at the AI CapEx boom,” he trills, as if reciting poetry, “that’s contributing to GDP today. And over the next five to ten years, it’s the AI deployment that will add even more.” Oh, Anshul, darling, do go on—though we suspect you’ll still be saying this when robots are writing your memos for you. 🤖📝

His strategy is nothing if not a smorgasbord of financial fabulousness: “Long stocks, long the dollar, long carry because rates aren’t going anywhere, long mortgage basis, long US treasuries, short options on rates…” One might wonder if he’s less of a strategist and more of a Hogwarts wizard casting spells on the market. 🪄💸

And let’s not forget President Donald Trump’s One Big Beautiful Bill, which Sehgal believes could pair up with AI and robotics to unleash a credit boom so productive it would make Marie Kondo weep with joy. 🏦✨ He insists this bonanza will favor US stocks above all else, leaving other investments looking like last season’s hand-me-downs.

“When you look at it top down from that perspective, stocks continue to look very cheap to us.” Cheap, darling? Or just delightfully underappreciated, like a vintage Chanel bag at a garage sale? Either way, Sehgal’s optimism is infectious—though one can’t help but wonder if he’s simply been sipping too much bubbly. 🍾💼

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2025-08-02 17:42