So, the stock market, right? It’s like a roller coaster designed by a sadist. Today? Down the toilet. U.S. stocks are throwing a fit because President Trump—who’s basically the king of fighting—drops a new tariff bomb on the European Union. Yeah, because nothing says ‘stability’ like brinkmanship with Europe. 🚀
The Dow? Went from mildly annoyed to collar-tugging panic, dropping over 480 points. The S&P 500 couldn’t handle the drama and said, “Nope, I’m out,” losing 1%. Nasdaq? A modest 1.2% drop, like it’s trying to be the cool kid but just fails. 
All this chaos, and what do we get? Oh, just the usual: days of gains sliced away, thanks to macroeconomic fears and geopolitical stuff. The global stocks? Looked like they’re about to burst into tears. They’re all set to end the week on a big, fat loss note. Yay! 🎉
But here’s the kicker: Wall Street was riding high—deals with the UK and China, things were looking good. Then Trump, in his infinite wisdom, rolls in with a ‘Hey, let’s slap a 50% tariff on the EU. Why not?’
He’s going on about how the EU’s primary goal is to ‘take advantage of the U.S.’ (gee, who knew?) and that negotiations are going nowhere. So, he’s recommending a straightforward 50% tariff starting June 1, 2025. Because, of course, who needs diplomacy when you can just threaten Europe with tariffs? 🧳
And just to make it sweeter, he’s throwing in a 25% tariff on iPhones made outside the U.S., like Apple’s crying somewhere. Markets? Absolutely loving the good news—said no one ever. Stocks are on a downward slide, while the Euro and Dollar decide to go on a diet 🥴.
Meanwhile, gold’s partying up 1.9% to $3,356, because when everything’s falling apart, gold’s the go-to. Cryptocurrency Bitcoin? Hovers around $108k, down 2.6%, but hey—hit over $111.8k earlier this week! Markets are so fun. 🙄
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2025-05-23 17:34