The crypto prophet emerges, battered by the icy winds of financial history, murmuring to no one in particular—but everyone online—that Bitcoin prepares itself for an ascent so vertiginous their grandfathers’ vodka would blush: $250,000 by 2025. 🤨 The repose of the bear market, the great Soviet winter, is over, comrades. Or so they say.
The Analyst Who Looked Into the Abyss—and Saw Banana Zones
The internet’s own Michaël van de Poppe—a man either visionary or in need of a strong nap—declares this coming bull drama as a repeat of those grand cyclical tsunamis that swept peasants from their tiny savings into the arms of…well, hopefully not their mothers. As Bitcoin loiters near $100,000, like a train refusing to leave the frozen Moscow platform, van de Poppe draws parallels to those breathless halts preceding old-timey bull stampedes—and, inevitably, invokes the irresistible urge to wave monetary inflation around like a tattered Party banner. 📈
In his recent Youtube treatise, van de Poppe brandishes M2 money supply charts as if they’re secret maps to a long-lost gulag. M2 shrank – almost as if the state ordered it – from 2021 to 2023, but some foolish children began printing again, imagining they can spend their way out of the snow. Our analyst waits, stoic and possibly shivering, for the flood to reach Bitcoin’s lonely outpost.
“When the treasury prints like babushka making pierogi for the whole village, what else can a rational man do but buy assets to hedge against the cold—err, inflation?” the analysis complains, contemplating Bitcoin as financial firewood while the ruble—sorry, dollar—fades like beet soup on a Monday.
Observe, says van de Poppe: we have reached a new era. The printers run, but so do the bankers, interest rates are high, the dollar limps, and, most crucially, the Americans—great lovers of cheese and ETFs—have finally invited Bitcoin to their Wall Street banquets. ETF inflows surge like vodka at a wedding. If this alone carried Bitcoin this far, what will happen when CZ himself returns from exile?
Van de Poppe, never one to pass up a metaphor, refers to “banana zones,” whereby the chart grows slippery and, in his words, “explosive upward phases” commence—like a train out of Novosibirsk. History, he reminds us, rarely repeats but always rhymes. 🙃
“Equilibrium,” the transcript mutters bleakly, “and ready to move higher.” The market, like a prisoner in the gulag, bides its time before breaking for the fence.
M2 surges, the seasons align, and van de Poppe’s fever dream conjures Bitcoin at $160,000–$180,000 by August, autumn gold lit by crypto promise (unless, of course, a mild breeze collapses the delicate tent of speculation).
By Q4, if all remains on this mad clockwork, a quarter-million dollar Bitcoin awaits—and possibly a few new Bitcoin millionaires with terrible spending habits. “It is possible,” he proclaims, staring into the digital abyss, “that 2025 brings $250,000 Bitcoin. Or more.” 🚂💰
He declared:
Bitcoin is on its way to $250,000 in 2025.
Onward to the banana zone. 🥸
Of course, there is gloom—there is always gloom. Perhaps the real peak is not 2025, but 2027 or 2028, a frozen cycle dragging on until all the altcoins in the wilderness realize nobody is coming for them. The disconnect is praised as ‘opportunity,’ which one can only hope is not another word for ‘soon-to-be-repossessed Lada.’
Read More
- DOT PREDICTION. DOT cryptocurrency
- Bitcoin Bottomed? Larry David Would Roll His Eyes at $74,500 Claims
- SUI PREDICTION. SUI cryptocurrency
- EUR USD PREDICTION
- OP PREDICTION. OP cryptocurrency
- BNKR PREDICTION. BNKR cryptocurrency
- PUMPBTC PREDICTION. PUMPBTC cryptocurrency
- USD VND PREDICTION
- DOGE PREDICTION. DOGE cryptocurrency
- USD PHP PREDICTION
2025-07-05 20:03