Shiba Inu?! 7,154% Surge?! Fuggedaboutit!

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So, Shiba Inu‘s Shibarium, this layer 2 thingamajig, it’s up 7,154%. Big deal. 🙄 You know, everything’s a “surge” these days. Like, I had a surge of indigestion after that pastrami sandwich. Was that news? I don’t think so.

Apparently, daily transactions went from, like, nothing to slightly more than nothing in five days. 63,820 to 4.63 million. Who cares? It’s all just numbers, Jerry! Numbers! 😠

Oh, and get this, Shibarium transactions “flatlined.” Flatlined! Like a bad Seinfeld episode. Profit-taking and “macroeconomic uncertainty.” What does that even MEAN? Sounds like something Susie Greene would say to justify buying another hideous outfit. 👜

But now it’s a “comeback”! A comeback! Like Sinatra after he retired the first time. Except, you know, with more dog memes. 🐕

They’ve processed 1,221,075,772 transactions. I can’t even COUNT that high! And 11 million blocks. Blocks of what? Cream cheese? I’d be more interested if it was blocks of cream cheese. 🧀

264,429,239 addresses. So many addresses, so little parking. 🅿️

Shiba Inu adoption hits new highs

Oh, adoption. Like everyone’s suddenly adopting Shiba Inus. Probably because they’re cheap. You get what you pay for, folks. 🤷‍♂️

Lucie, some Shiba Inu team member, tweeted that 1,511,101 wallets hold SHIB. That’s 0.011% of the global population. So what? I bet more people have lint in their pockets. 👖

A new SHIB DeFi toolkit! An “upgrade to the engine”! Sounds like something Kramer would cook up in his apartment. I can see it now, a Rube Goldberg machine that burns Shiba Inu tokens. 🔥

SHIB is up 3.22% to $0.000013. Whoop-dee-doo. I found more than that in loose change in my couch cushions. 🛋️

Trading volume is up 90%! Fresh optimism! Optimism? In THIS economy? You gotta be kidding me. 🤪 It’s all a shanda, I tell you! A shanda!

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2025-06-10 19:55