Ah, what a splendid pickle! The United States Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), that ever-bustling hive of fidgety bees, flung itself into chaos on Wednesday, thanks to a government funding blunder straight out of a madcap bedtime story. Most of the staff, those poor bewildered souls, were instructed to stuff their desks, lock the cupboards, and prepare for a merry nap-perhaps stretching into days, or who knows, maybe even months if the fates are feeling particularly naughty. 😂
According to a cheeky note posted on X late Wednesday, mere hours after lawmakers tripped over their own shoelaces and failed to shove through a funding bill, the SEC invoked its own secret playbook concocted in August. Picture this: an “extremely limited number of staff” lurking about like ghosts in a haunted house, with systems farting along under “modified conditions.” How delightfully sinister! 👻
“On the very first day of this funding fiasco,” declared the SEC with a wink and a nudge, “non-excepted staff shall mince about shutting everything down tighter than a tin of Dahl’s finest toffees, securing workstations and materials, ready for a supersonic sprint back to life once the cash cows moo again.”
What devilish deeds can the SEC manage with crypto during this shutdown slapstick?
With a skeleton crew at the helm, the agency huffed and puffed that it won’t dabble in “ongoing litigation”-unless it’s an emergency or someone’s pinching priceless treasures. So, enforcement antics against crypto tricksters? Pah! Paused until the party’s back on. No more chasing those slippery crypto scoundrels, at least for now. 😏
The SEC will also be as useful as a chocolate teapot for reviewing registration doodahs, tinkering with rules that aren’t emergencies, bossing self-regulating outfits, or lending a helping hand to foreign officials unless it’s dire. Those pesky cryptocurrency-linked exchange-traded fund (ETF) applications? Likely gathering dust in limbo, though the electronic filing machine chugs on accepting scribbles like a greedy goblin. For instance, those Solana (SOL) ETFs, eked out for approval by mid-October? Oh, tut-tut, that deadline’s now waltzing off stage left. 🎪
No end to this shutdown shenanigans in sight, you say?
At press time, no sly deals had slithered out from the Republicans and Democratic lawmakers’ squabbles over a temporary funding fix. Speaker Mike Johnson apparently chirped on Wednesday that the House would flutter back next week, but the GOP folks aren’t budging an inch on their bill-snowflakes refusing to melt, you might say. Democrats, bless their stubborn hearts, are demanding a U-turn on healthcare slashes from that Republican tinkered budget bill signed in July. How utterly deliciously divisive! 🫠
Once the appropriations fairy waves her wand and funds flow forth, the SEC’s merry band can tumble back to work on the very next scheduled shindig. Until then, hold onto your hats-it’s a shutdown spectacular! 🎢
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2025-10-01 21:33