SEC’s Crypto Mom Storms Capitol Hill 🚨: ‘We’re Not Waiting for Congress!’ 😂

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With the resolute air of a general marshaling her troops, Commissioner Hester Peirce, that indefatigable apostle of blockchain, proclaimed to Bloomberg TV that the SEC would not linger in the antechamber of legislative indecision. “We shall not tarry while Congress dozes in its bureaucratic armchair,” she declared, her eyes gleaming like a merchant’s ledger.

Peirce, ever the pragmatist, insisted that the SEC’s existing authority was not a frayed rope ladder but a sturdy scaffold of regulation. “We have a quill and parchment, and we shall inscribe the future,” she intoned, as if channeling the ghost of a 19th-century bureaucrat.

Since January, the SEC has been scribbling furiously, crafting guidance for crypto’s wild frontier. One might say they’re stitching a corset for a tornado-ambitious, if not entirely sane.

Last month, the Senate Banking Committee unveiled its draft crypto bill, a document that left Ripple and others clutching their pearls. “Too much power!” they wailed, as if the SEC were a dragon hoarding regulatory gold. Peirce, ever the diplomat, called the bill “a very sophisticated piece of legislation to work out,” a phrase that drips with the honeyed sarcasm of a courtier.

Project Crypto: A Symphony in Regulatory C

Chair Paul Atkins, that modern-day alchemist, has launched “Project Crypto,” a crusade to modernize securities laws. Peirce, with the enthusiasm of a child unwrapping a chocolate egg, declared it “going very well.” Indeed, one might say the SEC is conducting a waltz with the industry-graceful, if slightly off-key.

“We’re working collaboratively with staff all across,” she beamed, as if orchestrating a moonlit serenade. Meetings with industry leaders? Naturally. Why, even the CFTC is now a dance partner in this regulatory tango.

Congress, the Eternal Siesta

The market structure bill, that grand edifice of jurisdictional boundaries, is meant to clarify the SEC-CFTC rivalry. Peirce, with the charm of a hostess at a lavish soiree, noted the agencies “have a good relationship.” One imagines them sipping tea and nodding politely, like rivals in a genteel duel.

“We’ve worked with them,” she mused, “I personally have worked with the CFTC over the years… We’re coordinating.” A masterclass in bureaucratic choreography, where every step is a compromise and every bow a nod to compromise.

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2025-08-12 23:12