SEC Crypto Crackdown Cooks Its Goose! Former Bigwig Says It’s Kaput

According to John Reed, a former big cheese at the SEC, the agency’s crypto enforcement has officially gone the way of the dodo under the new administration. 🍗

“Stick a fork in SEC crypto-enforcement, it’s done,” he declared on social media, perhaps moments before dropping the mic and vanishing in a puff of regulatory smoke. 🎤💨

And why? Because the SEC took its “Crypto Assets and Cyber Unit,” gave it a less sparkly name (“Cyber Emerging Technologies Unit”), and basically told crypto enforcement to take an early retirement. Even the office ficus got a memo.

Enter stage left: Laura D’Allaird! She’s the new boss of the SEC’s Cyber and Emerging Technologies Unit, and she’s here to assure everyone the agency is, in technical terms, still “doing stuff.”

Laura put it gently: the SEC has split its attention into three “buckets.” Imagine three buckets, but instead of water, they all have regulatory paperwork spilling over. 🪣🪣🪣

First bucket? The good ol’ pursuit of fraudsters who are using innovative tech like blockchain, crypto, or whatever “AI” means this week to con some poor soul out of their retirement savings. If it sounds too good to be true, odds are, it’s probably blockchain-powered!

Another bucket focuses on cybersecurity compliance and hunting cyber villains who hang out on the dark web. (Pro-tip: If you’re using 19 layers of VPN and call yourself “The Phisher King,” the SEC is watching. Cue ominous kazoo music.) 🎶

Laura assures us the SEC is keeping it “nimble”—like a geriatric gymnast, they’re stretching to keep up with fraud, innovation, and whatever excuse people have to tack the word “crypto” onto their business plans. 🤸‍♀️

She divides the culprits into two groups: One, the tech-savvy tricksters. Two, people rebranding ancient fraud in trendy tech lingo—think Ponzi schemes with a Silicon Valley hoodie.

Meanwhile, the SEC has quietly tiptoed away from a few headline-grabbing cases against bigshots like Coinbase and Ripple. (Legal popcorn, anyone?) As if to say, “Here we come!” and then, “JK, gotta run!” Jorge Tenreiro, the SEC’s top courtroom gladiator, was demoted. Somebody call HR, or at least buy him a coffee. ☕

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2025-05-07 22:36