SBF’s Bold Claim: It Wasn’t ME! 😂

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Hark! Attend, gentle audience, for a tale most curious unfolds! ’Tis the lament of one Samuel Bankman-Fried, formerly a merchant of digital coin, now fallen from grace. He doth protest, with a vehement insistence, that his exchange, FTX, was not, in truth, a vessel of insolvency. Nay! He claimeth ’twas the hand of legal counsel, those black-robed puppeteers, who steered his enterprise toward the abyss of bankruptcy. A most audacious claim, I say! 🎭

The Critics’ Scorn

“FTX bankrupt? Never!” doth this Bankman-Fried declare, as writ upon a digital scroll displayed for all to see. He propounds a grand defense, echoing pronouncements made in recent parleys with the folks at @amuse, where he sang a similar tune. He protesteth that the coffers of FTX were, even at the darkest hour, heavier with assets than burdened by debts – and that every customer stood to be made whole by late November of that calamitous year, 2022.

He doth point an accusing finger at the legal eagles, one Master John J. Ray III and the firm of Sullivan & Cromwell, labeling them as usurpers who seized control, drove FTX into ruin, and then sold its treasures for a pittance! He bewails the loss of above one hundred billion in potential value – a sum most staggering! He argues that the alleged “liquidity crisis” of November was but a momentary lapse in funds, easily remedied by the arrival of eight billion in promised financing. A convenient tale, methinks! 🤔

Thus spake Bankman-Fried:

“Over one hundred and twenty billion of value lost! A sum which would have enriched the stakeholders of FTX had those in charge simply refrained from meddling!”

He doth further assert that those who came after him inflated the cries of insolvency, dismissed those who possessed true understanding of the affairs, and then dispersed valuable holdings-such as Solana, Anthropic, and shares in the Robinhood company-for a fraction of their true worth. He insists:

“Had they merely held firm, FTX would have honored every obligation in November of 2022!”

But his plaintive cries have not found a sympathetic ear. The rabble doth mock his claims, accusing him of diverting customer funds to whimsical ventures in Solana, Robinhood, and Anthropic! 😤

“One cannot simply pilfer the funds entrusted to one’s care for personal gain!” thus spake one user in retort upon his digital proclamation. Another, with a particularly sharp wit, observed: “Aye, you describe nothing less than embezzlement, good sir!” And yet another did put it thus with blunt force:

“The funds were not thine to bestow! It matters not if recompense could have been made at a later date; the essence of the wrongdoing is clear, and a longer sojourn in confinement is, perchance, required for understanding.”

A keen investigator, one ZachXBT by name, doth concur, stating that creditors received payments at the coin values of November 2022, not those of the present. The gains made in Solana or Bitcoin were pure happenstance. He adds that Bankman-Fried hath learned nothing from his confinement and repeats his past deceits. 😒

To many observers, this renewed defense appears less a sincere revelation than a desperate performance for the gallery. Despite his claims of solvency and accusations of foul play, the digital citizenry remain unconvinced. Beset by accusations of theft, reckless mismanagement, and a stubborn denial of reality, his tale rings hollow. His play is to an empty theatre. 🤷‍♂️

Frequently Asked Questions ❓

  • What pronouncements did this Bankman-Fried make concerning FTX?
    He doth claim FTX was never insolvent, and that lawyers forced it into bankruptcy.
  • Whom did Bankman-Fried accuse of mishandling FTX’s wealth?
    He blamed Master John J. Ray III and the firm of Sullivan & Cromwell for selling assets at a most reduced price.
  • How did the digital community respond to such claims?
    Users upon X did jeer at his defense, accusing him of misappropriating customer funds.

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2025-11-02 06:58