Saylor’s BTC Gamble: $835M Vanishes Like Magic! 🪄

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Behold, the latest Bitcoin acquisition by Strategy, a feat so audacious it could make a Cossack weep into his borscht. The BTC hoarder, undeterred by the financial apocalypse, has spent a cool $835 million on 8,178 tokens, as if declaring war on gravity itself. 🐳💸

In a masterstroke of corporate theater, Michael Saylor, the man who could turn a ledger into a symphony, announced the purchase on X. Preceded by a Sunday post titled “₿ig Week,” it’s clear he’s not just investing-he’s composing a tragicomedy for the ages. 🎭

His Friday teaser, “We bought bitcoin every day this week,” reads now like a cursed prophecy. For what is this $835 million but a modern-day Icarus, soaring toward the sun before the market’s winds send it plummeting? 🕊️🔥

Funded by $136.1 million in stock sales, this acquisition is a tightrope walk over a canyon of volatility. One might call it a “bold move,” but in the theater of crypto, boldness is just another word for madness. 🤹♂️

Strategy, once a timid squirrel hoarding acorns, now roars like a bear at a banqueting table. Yet even this 8,178 BTC splurge pales compared to their July 2023 binge of 21,021 BTC. Back then, BTC danced at fresh highs; now, it waltzes into the abyss. 🕺👻

The purchase, made between November 10th and 16th at an average of $102,171 per token, feels like buying a yacht during a tsunami. BTC’s current value? A mere $92,700, a 12% drop that would make a tsarist ruble blush. 💰

Yet Strategy’s treasury, worth $60.6 billion, remains stubbornly profitable by 25%. Perhaps they’ve mastered the art of turning lead into gold-or at least, turning panic into profit. 🦄

Analyst James Van Straten, a man who probably owns a cat named “Bear Market,” points to Glassnode’s Accumulation Trend Score. It’s a chart so neutral it could put Ivan Tavrichsky to sleep. The “sharks” swim left, the “whales” drift right, and the “mega whales”… well, they’re probably plotting world domination. 🐳💣

As for the BTC price, it floats at $92,700, a number so round it could belong to a bureaucratic form. But fear not! Strategy’s $48.37 billion cost basis ensures they’ll outlast the market’s tantrums, perhaps even join them. 🎉

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2025-11-18 10:14