Markets
What to know:
- Robinhood, that plucky little app where dreams go to die or soar, saw its first-quarter 2026 revenue rise like a phoenix from the ashes-15 percent to $1.07 billion. Adjusted earnings per share? A whopping 38 cents. Big whoop.
- Crypto revenue took a nosedive, plummeting 47 percent to $134 million. Seems the kids have moved on from Bitcoin to betting on whether the Fed will raise rates or if the next president will be a robot. Event contracts, they call it. Fancy.
- Net interest income and subscription products like Gold are booming, but the stock still dropped 6 percent in post-market trading. Wall Street’s a fickle mistress, ain’t she?
In the dusty plains of the financial world, Robinhood (HOOD) stands like a weary traveler, its crypto saddle empty but its pockets still jingling. The first quarter of 2026 brought a 47% tumble in crypto trading revenue, down to $134 million from $252 million the year before. But fear not, for the folks at Robinhood have found a new game: event contracts. Folks are betting on everything from interest rates to who’ll win the next election. It’s like a county fair, but with more zeros on the end.
Transaction-based revenue hit $623 million, up from $583 million, thanks to these so-called event contracts. Users traded a record 8.8 billion of ’em, proving that humanity’s insatiable appetite for gambling knows no bounds. Prediction markets, they call it. Sounds fancy, but it’s just folks wagering on whether the sky will fall tomorrow.
Total revenue climbed 15% to $1.07 billion, and net income inched up 3% to $346 million. Adjusted earnings per share? $0.38. Analysts wanted $0.39, but hey, close enough for government work. Robinhood’s trying to wean itself off the crypto teat, diversifying into derivatives and prediction markets. It’s like a farmer switching from cotton to soybeans-less glamorous, but steadier.
Net interest revenue and subscription products like Gold are growing strong, as Robinhood builds its financial empire brick by brick. But the stock? Down 6% in post-market trading. Wall Street’s got a short memory, and Robinhood’s still paying for its crypto sins. The earnings call’s at 5 p.m. ET. Popcorn’s on you.
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2026-04-28 23:39