Roald Dahl-Style Whirlwind of Bitcoin Madness

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Once upon a time in the swirling, twirling world of finance, along came a man named Michael Saylor-dressed in a suit that looked like it had been dipped in Bitcoin glitter-shouting loud and proud on the electronic stage called X, the platform where everyone tweets their secrets, dreams, and sometimes their lunch.

Saylor’s Bizarre Biscuit of Bitcoin

He stood atop the famous Golden Gate Bridge-the grand, rusty wonder that links islands and dreams-and declared, “Bridge to Tomorrow!” Like some sort of digital Robin Hood in a business suit, he suggests Bitcoin is the magic bridge between the wobbly, wobbling dollars of today and the shiny, new, digital treasure chest of tomorrow. It’s like saying, “Hey, old savings, say hello to your new best friend-Bitcoin! The hero of innovation and the champion of you-know-what-you’re-doing.”

₿ridge to Tomorrow

– Michael Saylor (@saylor) August 5, 2025

The message? Bitcoin isn’t just some silly string of numbers; it’s the grand, cobbled-together foundation for what the finance world hopes will be a much brighter, digital, no-more-arguing-with banks future. Saylor, who seems to believe Bitcoin is a divine gift from the financial gods, thinks it’s the boldest, brightest thing since sliced bread-or perhaps since someone invented the bicycle to escape the boring old cash system.

Saylor’s Brave Bitcoin Treasure Hunt

Guess what? Saylor’s crazy, daring adventure into Bitcoin land has made him look like a crypto pirate with a treasure chest bursting at the seams. His company, Strategy, just snapped up another shiny hundred-billion-dollar worth of Bitcoin-spending a whopping $2.46 billion between July and August to collect 21,021 BTC at about $117,526 each. That’s enough to make a pie chart blush with envy, bringing their total trove to a staggering 628,791 BTC, valued at over $71 billion! And to think, this all happened since Trump decided to play president again-like he’s trying to turn Bitcoin into his new best buddy, doubling his Bitcoin collection faster than rabbits in a hat.

The Amazing Rise of MSTR

Once just a humble software firm, Strategy has morphed into the biggest Bitcoin hoarder on the planet-so big that its stock has zoomed over 3,000%, leaving everything else in the dust, even outpacing Bitcoin itself. It’s like turning a bicycle into a rocket-except it’s just clever bosses selling some of their shares and borrowing a little cash to bulk up their crypto army. They’ve turned their treasury into a goldmine, which other companies now stare at with wide, googly eyes.

Today, @cvpayne and I break down why Bitcoin is a swarm of hornets, how to outperform $BTC with $MSTR, beat $USD money markets with $STRC, and ride the wave of crypto innovation.

– Michael Saylor (@saylor) August 4, 2025

And what’s more? Their profits are nearly as big as a giant’s trousers, clocking in at a monstrous $14 billion in just Q2-imagine that, more money than some countries’ entire piggy banks! Oh, and they’ve got their sights set even higher-aiming for a 30% Bitcoin yield and billions more in gains, like kids dreaming of endless candy shops.

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2025-08-05 18:37