Right, so somehow we now live in a world where the most sensible sentence of my week is: Crypto.com—yes, that Crypto.com that your boyfriend yells about after three glasses of Merlot—is sponsoring a boxing party slap-bang-in-the-middle of Times Square. Picture: neon, crowds, tourists clutching I ❤️ NY mugs, and somewhere amongst them, Ryan Garcia and Rolly Romero poised to bash each other for glory, bruises, and digital assets. 🥊💸
The brainwave—clearly concocted over 2 a.m. pizza and too much Red Bull—lands on May 2, 2025, 5:50 p.m. ET (weirdly specific; you know they agonised over that time slot between Broadway showings and the Naked Cowboy’s shift).
This death-defying spectacle (modestly named “Fatal Fury Times Square”) is described by the crypto crowd as “turning Times Square into a full-scale boxing arena for the first time ever”—as if what New York really needed was more chaos per square inch. Excitement! Historic milestone! Headache for the MTA! Tickets? No idea. But you can apparently watch on DAZN Pay-Per-View. Which, for the uninitiated, is what you get when you mix sports, an indecipherable app, and your dad insisting he could have been a contender. 📺🥃
The event is hosted by The Ring Magazine (“Bible of Boxing,” which is slightly alarming since I didn’t realise the Vatican had pound-for-pound rankings). These people have been chronicling the art of professional face-smashing since 1922. Truly dedicated to their craft (and possibly to a lifetime supply of frozen peas).
Apparently, this is the first time a professional fight card lands in legit heart-of-the-pigeon-poop Times Square. Historic! Dazzling! Possibly a logistical nightmare involving more cones and hi-vis jackets than Canelo’s fan club. For brand excitement, Crypto.com will be everywhere—in-your-face at the venue, splashed across the pay-per-view broadcast, and lurking in every commercial break, just in case you haven’t been browbeaten enough to buy an NFT of someone getting nosebleed.
The Crypto.com president says (and I promise I’m not making this up): “The connection between the powers of crypto and sport are strong.” Sure. Both are confusing, occasionally thrilling, and make your wallet cry. Meanwhile, The Ring’s COO gushed about big brands, global support, and demonstrated commitment—translation: hurrah, more sponsorship logos than a Formula One grid.
So if you love boxing, city madness, or desperately need a reason to use your crypto wallet for something other than losing lunch money, Times Square—plus DAZN—await. Beers at the ready. 🥊🍕🚕
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2025-05-02 21:57