So, Pi Network, bless its heart 🙄, is apparently getting all cozy with the Ethereum blockchain. They say it’s going to “revolutionize” things. You know, like when I tried to “revolutionize” my kitchen by putting the cereal boxes in alphabetical order. It lasted a day.
Brian Christian Alexander – a name that just screams “trustworthy crypto guru” – announced that developers can now link their ERC-20 wallets. Because who doesn’t have an ERC-20 wallet these days? It’s as essential as a good muffin recipe. They’re talking about “seamless payments 🔥”. Seamless, like my attempts to avoid eye contact with the cashier when my coupon doesn’t work.
Simply link your ERC-20 wallet (starting with 0x, 42 characters) — and enjoy seamless payments 🔥
This is just the beginning…CT is now connecting Web3 to the power of Ethereum. New avenues for dApps, monetization and real-world utility have opened up.
Join today — the next…
— The Times of PiNetwork (@PiNetwork24X7) April 14, 2025
And apparently, Chainlink – which sounds like a medieval torture device, but okay – has added Pi Network to its “suite” of data feeds. A suite! Like a fancy hotel room where you can watch Pi’s price go up and down in real-time. Exciting!
In just the past week, 22 new assets became supported by Chainlink Data Streams ↓
— Chainlink (@chainlink) April 12, 2025
Even though you can already trade Pi on places like OKX (sounds vaguely threatening), Gate.io (is that a compliment?), and Bitget (I hope it’s not painful), the Pi enthusiasts are holding out for Binance. Because that’s the golden ticket. Like winning a lifetime supply of dental floss.
This whole thing started as a “mobile mining experiment.” Which sounds about as productive as my attempt to learn the ukulele. But hey, the token’s up 36%! Maybe I should have mined Pi instead of practicing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” for my cat. 😼
And now they’re talking about a “token burn.” Which, I assume, involves setting digital money on fire. Because that’s how you create value, right? 🔥 It’s supposed to offset inflation, which is a word that makes me think of balloons and birthday parties, not economics. 🎈
Pi price outlook
So, Pi is teetering around $0.75. The “RSI” (whatever that is) is near 66. Sounds like a bingo number. If it goes up, traders might see a “short-term pullback.” Which, in my experience, usually involves a nap and a bag of potato chips.
PI 4-hour chart | Source: Trading View
The “Bollinger Bands” are widening. Sounds like a support group for rubber bands. If it breaks past $0.80, we could see a rally towards $1! 🎉 If not, there’s a “band-midline” at $0.62. So many lines! It’s like a connect-the-dots puzzle, but with money.
And the “MACD” is “positive with a bullish crossover.” I’m pretty sure that’s what the fortune cookie said last week. But the “histogram” is flattening. Which means… something. Probably not good. 🤷♀️
PI 4-hour chart | Source: Trading View
Oh, and they’re adding 2.3 million tokens today. Which means it’s going to be… “volatile.” Like my mood after three cups of coffee. ☕
2.3 million $PI unlock.
2.3m $PI will be added into circulation today. Volatility expected. #PiNetwork
— MOON JEFF 🪐 (@CRYPTOAD00) April 14, 2025
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- tag, not repeated as a header. They want all images retained and no tags or color styles. First, I’ll start with the title. The original title is “Hyperliquid Price Reversal, Will Bears Drag HYPE Down to $35?” I need to make it more clickbaity and Terry Pratchett-esque. Maybe something like “Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸” That’s under 100 characters? Let me check: “Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸” – yes, 97 characters. Good. Next, the body. The first paragraph talks about the rollercoaster week with whale activity and liquidations. Terry would probably compare it to something absurd. Maybe a “rollercoaster” isn’t enough. Maybe “the Hyperliquid rollercoaster took a detour through a black hole” or something. Also, mention the whale trader with a humorous twist. Maybe “a certain whale with a penchant for drama and a balance sheet thicker than a fantasy novel” to add that Pratchett flair. The second paragraph about the $19 billion event. Maybe refer to it as “the Great Liquidation of Doom” or something. “fresh on the backdrop” could be “fresh from the annals of ‘Oh My Goodness, Not Again'” to add humor. In the price analysis section, the 8% drop. Terry might compare it to a “graceful swan dive into a puddle of despair.” The market cap and volume up 4.22%-maybe “panic selling and algorithmic trades are having a party where the only music is the sound of wallets sobbing.” The technicals part: slipped below SMA lines. Maybe “HYPE decided to play ‘hot potato’ with its moving averages.” MACD and RSI-describe them as “momentum indicators are throwing a hissy fit” and RSI “hovering near 41 like a nervous pigeon.” The FAQs need to be rewritten with sarcasm. “Why is Hyperliquid underperforming?” could be phrased as “Why is Hyperliquid underperforming? Well, let’s see. It’s like asking why a duck is bad at chess…” Then mention the technical breakdowns and whale shorts as “a perfect storm of technical breakdowns and whale-sized shorts.” Next support level: “The $33-$35 range is the next critical support zone…” Maybe “the $33-$35 range is where hopes go to be gently soothed by Fibonacci fairy dust.” Recovery question: “HYPE needs a sustained close above $41.42…” Maybe “HYPE needs to do the equivalent of a sober caber toss over $41.42.” Throughout, add emojis where appropriate. For example, after mentioning whales, add 🐋💸. In the FAQs, maybe 💩 for the underperforming question. Check for all images retained. The figure tag is there, so leave it as is. Avoid using tags, no color styles. Ensure the title is only in the tag and not as a header. The original had H2 headers, so keep those but maybe tweak the text to be more whimsical. Like “Hyperliquid Price Analysis” becomes “Hyperliquid Price Analysis (Or: The Day the HYPE Died?)” Wait, but the user said not to repeat the title in the body as a header. The original title was “Hyperliquid Price Reversal, Will Bears Drag HYPE Down to $35?” but the new title is different. So the H2 headers should be original, so the first H2 can stay as “Hyperliquid Price Analysis” but maybe add some humor there. Alternatively, maybe “Hyperliquid’s Great Adventure in the Land of Red Arrows” or something. But need to make sure it’s not the same as the title. Also, ensure that the humor is consistent throughout, with a bit of sarcasm and playful language. Avoid markdown, just HTML. Check for any tags and remove them. Use , , , etc., as in the original. Finally, wrap it all in HTML structure with the new title, and ensure emojis are appropriately placed without overdoing it. Let me go through each section step by step and inject the humor, sarcasm, and emojis as per Terry Pratchett’s style.End of Thought (23.26s) Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸
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2025-04-14 19:50