Peter Thiel’s Crypto Circus: Will Bullish IPO Outshine Circle or Just Flop?

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Key Takeaways

Crypto exchange Bullish, backed by that billionaire guy Thiel, files for a $629 million IPO at a $4.2 billion valuation. Yeah, billion with a B. BlackRock and ARK might toss in $200 million-because who wouldn’t want a slice of the crypto pie? 🥧

Anyway, Bullish, that crypto exchange run by some folks who probably know more about blockchain than about everyday life, has officially entered the ring with the SEC. They’re planning to sell 20.3 million shares at a “bargain” price of $28-$31 each. Looks like they’re trying to raise up to $629 million-because apparently, crypto companies think money grows on blockchain. 🌱

If everyone bites, this thing could be worth between $3.8 billion and $4.2 billion. Yeah, billion. It’s like a game of Monopoly, but with real money-and some confused regulator who still doesn’t get it. 🎲

This whole thing follows their sneak peek in June, which is crypto-speak for “we’re quietly pretending to be legit.”

What’s this Bullish IPO all about?

So, Bullish is bringing in JPMorgan and Jefferies-big shots-to help them go public, which, let’s face it, is just big banks helping crypto stuff get on a reality TV show. Digital assets, like Bitcoin and friends, are showing signs of life, like a zombie at a coffee shop, and investors are half excited, half confused. ☕

Meanwhile, Circle’s stablecoin company decided to go big and saw their shares skyrocket over 500%. That’s some serious fireworks-unless it’s just fireworks of confusion. Bullish is jumping in after that, riding the hype wave like it’s on jet skis. 🏄‍♂️ The timing is on point-just after the U.S. passed the GENIUS Act, which is probably a law named after a kindergartner with a penchant for acronyms.

CEO Tom Farley (probably thinks he’s a genius) says something about transparency and compliance as if that’s the secret sauce. Oh yeah, that’s about as convincing as a sausage made of tofu.

“We now intend to IPO because we believe that the digital assets industry is beginning its next leg of growth. We view transparency and compliance as hallmarks of how we operate Bullish, and believe those values align well with the public capital markets.”

BlackRock and ARK, the usual suspects, are potentially ready to toss in a cool $200 million-because what could go wrong with crypto anymore? 😂

The neighborhood gossip: other firms jumping in

This IPO isn’t happening in a bubble, no sir. Other crypto outfits like OKX, Kraken, and Gemini are also saying, “Hey, we’re ready for our close-up,” with Gemini already sneaking in a confidential filing-like the kid hiding snacks in his backpack.

Meanwhile, hardcore Bitcoin fanboy Michael Saylor (the guy who probably has Bitcoin wallpaper) is doubling down, trying to get Wall Street to fund more Bitcoin buying-because what’s better than a single digit? A double-digit Bitcoin portfolio, of course. 🚀

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2025-08-05 19:19